26 Things That A Perfect Guy Would Do

1. Know how to make you smile when you are down.

2. Try to secretly smell your hair, but you always notice.

3. Stick up for you, but still respects your independence.

4. Give you the remote control during the game.

5. Come up behind you and put his arms around you.

6. Play with your hair.

7. His hands always find yours.

8. Be cute when he really wants something.

9. Offer you plenty of massages.

10. Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork.

11. Never run out of love.

12. Be funny, but know how to be serious.

13. Realize he's being funny when he needs to be serious.

14. Be patient when you take forever to get ready.

15. React so cutely when you hit him and it actually hurts.

16. Smile a lot.

17. Plans a romantic date full of cheesy things he wouldn't normally like to do, just because he knows it means a lot to you.

18. Appreciate you.

19. Help others out.

20. Drive 5 hours just to see you for 1.

21. Always gives you a peck on the cheek when you depart from each others company, even when his friends are watching.

22. Sing, even if he can't.

23. Have a creative sense of humour.

24. Stare at you.

25. Call for no reason.

26. Quit smoking, chewing, drinking or drugs - just because he loves you that much to quit it.

check how dirty is your mind...it's amazing.


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who said pigs are stupid??!! see this and it will prove you all wrong.

bro just called and he said that the stupid university people told them that there are no more rooms available in the hall, so no place for them to stay. what the hell!! bro went there with 3 of his friends and one of them was lucky because the last room was taken by him. but he's such a USELESS friend. 4 of them went there together and they should stay together, but this guy who's so selfish, took the last room and left the other 3 without a place to stay. "mou yi hei"!! "fan kuat chai"!! so bro and his friends went around town just now to look for a place to stay. if they couldn't find one by tonight, God knows where are they going to sleep. if worst comes to worst, i told him to stay in the hotel with his friends for a night, and continue searching again tomorrow.

thank God i have a friend staying in New Castle too. my one and only friend in New Castle. managed to contact him just now and told him about the whole situation. he told me to inform my bro that if he needs any help, just give him a call. if they couldn't find a place, call him and he'll help them tomorrow. THANK GOD!! "thanks bro".

pictures time!! since i already got my camera back, i started taking pictures of the things that i wanted to take previously; just for fun.


my new fragrance. bought it when i went to Singapore last month. smells quite good but i must say that i still prefer the fragrance that i've been using all these while; GAPSCENT simply white which i bought when i was in London. it's finishing and that's why i bought this new one.


my favourite; GAPSCENT simply white.


Me to You!!! i love Me to You teddies. they're so cute and adorable. i bought the 2 small ones (first from left and right. poor mar, no money to buy big one), the slightly bigger one was given to me by jie (second from right) and the biggest one was from....*drumroll*....hc. thank you guyz!


My collection of ciggie boxes.


...

woke up this morning and walked pass my bro's room. no one's there. felt so...sad. everything feels so different without his presence, without having him at home. now i know how my family have felt and gone through when i left for UK 2 years ago. although my bro and i always quarrel, i must admit that i do miss his absence now. my family is very very important to me. they're far more important than any other things in the world. they always come FIRST, always..

I WILL ALWAYS ♡ YOU GUYS!!

just sent my bro off at the airport just now. it was sad but i didn't cry. like i've said, i never cry in public nor in front of anyone, i don't simply cry, even if i watch sad movies, i don't cry. the whole situation kinda reminds me of the time when i left for UK. Mum did cried although she said that she'll never cry. however, she only started crying when she was in the car after sending my bro off. according to my sis, this time was a lot better compared to the time when i left for UK 2 years ago. according to her, Mum started crying right after i entered the departure gate. in the car, the situation was so tensed and such a coincidence, the radio station that we were listening to was playing sad songs. of course we got more tensed. then Dad switched to another Chinese channel (Mum and Dad only listen to Chinese channels, but sometimes Dad listens to Light & Easy) and what the hell, it was playing sad songs too. all the sad lyrics, "wo ku" and "hen xiang ni"..war lau eh... why lar so ngam one!! when we reached home, Mum was ok already. pheww... but Hailie was like so puzzled. she saw and i believe she knew (dogs are smart creature ok) 5 of us left the house earlier, but only 4 came back. where's "ko ko"??

Tanny, have a safe journey, take care and all the best!! And be good!!

this is damn funny man. i came across this blog from my friend's blog the other day and i found one post in that blog which is very funny. well, maybe not to you but to me, yes i think it's funny. alright, he found a blog which is in Cantonese and he even attempted to blog in Cantonese. take a look at his Cantonese post. funny leh.. no? nevermind. then, i went to that Cantonese blog that he found and my oh my, it is definitely not easy to blog in Cantonese, moreover it takes time to actually spell every single word out correctly. as for us the readers, we need to spend time reading them carefully to understand what are they trying to say, and more importantly, BE PATIENT. but it's good though, at least i can read and understand a lil. what to do, i don't know how to read Chinese. BANANA mar...

I AM SO FRUSTRATED!! I HATE THEM!! stupid people in my company were blaming me for not turning up to work. i was like, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??!! ME, NOT TURNING UP?? SINCE WHEN?!! just because of a mistake made by one of the staff, i got scolded for nothing by 2 other staff. actually the word 'ACCUSED' seems to be a lil more appropriate. what the hell! yes, that's them. to them, they're the God and we're the Devil. they'll blame us no matter we're right or wrong. to them, it's always our fault. to them, we're always WRONG, they're always RIGHT. that's them, being so inefficient and so ridiculous. well, we can never blame them totally. it's because of the others who always didn't turn up to work and went missing in action, so they thought that all of us are the same just like those who are always being so irresponsible. but hello, not all are like those irresponsible people ok. i talked to this particular lady in the office and she said that it's alright now. it's her fault, her mistake. well thanks to her, i got all the scolding from the others. and thanks to her, i'm now a very well-known person in that department. and thanks for falsely blacklisting me as well. thank you thank you *took a bow*

Happy Merdeka Day!! yay..it's Merdeka again and as usual, i was at home. come to think of it, i've never been out on Merdeka's eve for countdown before. hmm...that's what you call "anak Malaysia" huh? but hey, at least i do sing 'Negaraku', 'Jalur Gemilang' and the 'Tanggal 31' song every year ok.. alright some of you might think that i'm crazy then. who cares...

so after dinner with family yesterday, we went to Baskin-Robbins to get ourselves some ice cream. they have this promotion where when you purchase ice cream on the 31st day of every month, you'll be given a 31% discount. however this month, they have a special promotion for Merdeka, it's called the Merdeka 3 days special, where this offer started on the 29th till 31st. we got ourselves 3 tubs of ice cream; 2 quart tubs and 1 pint tub. yummy yummy... but to be really honest, i'm not a very big fan of Baskin. i would say that i prefer Haagen-Dazs more; uh i miss having Haagen-Dazs especially in London. damn, everything i like somehow seems to be related to London and London and London. i really love that place. all the memories...ah..MEMORIES!!

anyhow here's a pic of the ice cream we bought. talking about picture, i got my camera back yesterday. oh wait a minute, did i mention that my camera was admitted to the Canon Hospital? it was a few months ago when i got to know that it was sick. so i haven't been taking any pictures for months. we only got it fixed like 2 weeks ago and i just got it back yesterday. according to the doctor, there's something wrong with the optical lens, so they have to perform an operation and give it a new optical lens. that operation cost us around RM437. ouch.. well at least it's better than coughing another few thousand bucks to get a new one.


WARNING: Do not lick the computer screen or you might get electrocuted. hahaha...

don't you just hate it when someone borrowed money from you and then pretended or acted as if there's nothing happening?! it's like they're taking money from you for FREE and then spent it and acted as if that's their own money that they are spending. gosh!! people like them are so IRRESPONSIBLE and UNRELIABLE. they did not intend to pay and they didn't even anticipate to pay you back. best of all, they must be hoping that you'll be too shy to ask from them, hoping that you'll be quiet forever, hoping that you'll forget about it soon, and let them enjoy the bonus they've got from you, and then make fun of you for being so STUPID! indeed this is how i'm feeling right now, i'm feeling so STUPID!!

you see, two of my colleagues borrowed money from me few days ago and yup, the stupid me who's trying to be nice, lent them some money and until now, i've never heard anything from them nor have i receive a penny from them. well there's no one else to blame except for me. i'm always this stupid!! that's not like the first time it happened to me. even some of my very own friends who borrowed money from me did not return me back even a penny, and when we were out together, they could just ignore and pretend as if they didn't owe me anything. i'm just trying to be nice and kind and help whenever i can, but it ended up that i'm the stupid one. well i'm not going to wait any longer, i'm going to ask for my money back from that two colleagues of mine who actually disgraced themselves.

i bought another insurance for myself yesterday. i'm going to suffer every month, going to struggle to pay for my premiums every month. man, i'm going to be SO DAMN BROKE!!

bro is leaving for UK next month. he's going to New Castle to study. he was supposed to go to Australia to study but he suddenly changed his mind. i have no idea why. maybe it's because of his friends, most of them are going to New Castle. well it's all up to him. i don't know what's going to happen to my parents by then.

i don't get it. i don't know what is so wrong with me wearing PINK instead of BLACK. yes i know that i'm this funky gal who loves black, but that doesn't mean that i can't wear pink, right? i might be this tough looking gal or should i say i'm like a tomboy, but that doesn't mean that i can't be feminine, right? i love wearing pants especially jeans and sneakers but that doesn't mean that i can't wear skirts and heels, right? stop teasing me if i look different to you guys, ok?? just give me a break, will ya?? after all, i'm still a FREAKING FEMALE!

What Hug Can Do~???

A hug is a wonderful gift to share,
A way to show each other that we care;
There is so much a hug is able to do,
When you feel those arms holding you.

A hug is a place to feel safe and warm,
A comfort for a sad heart that is torn;
An expression of the love in our heart,
For ones who we wish, never to be apart.

A hug is a greeting when we meet to say hello,
Or to say goodbye when we have to go;
It can hold us up when life gets us down,
And makes us smile, instead of frown.

A hug can be given for no reason at all,
And given to those, both big and small;
We're never too old to feel the joy it brings,
As it is one of life's most pleasing things.

And for all of this beauty, a hug is free!
It costs nothing, yet means so much to me;
We should all hug another to show we care,
For to feel a warm hug, nothing can compare.

intoxicated for 4 consecutive nights. never have i been so intoxicated before in my whole life. usually i only drink when i'm out clubbing, and that was like only a day. for the past 4 nights, i've been drinking with my colleagues and God knows how much alcohol are there in our blood, in our body. it might be very common to some people but not to me. we've been forced to drink and during that 4 nights, we've been having JD (Jack Daniel's) and gin.
lots of drinking + empty stomach + lack of sleep = dead human.
time to detox myself.

i'm so relieved to know that my Dad is doing fine. thank God that he's alright. he's suffering from this minor illness which i hope he'll get well soon. i remember once, he almost got hit by a stroke. that was few years back. scary but thank God he's alright. after today's incident, i realize that my Dad is getting old. my parents are getting old. even i myself is growing older. why must we age? why must we age and die? life is so unpredictable. we do not know what will happen to us tomorrow, we do not know what is awaiting us in front. so since we're still alive and young now, it's time for us to learn to treasure the people around us, treasure our lives, treasure the moment we've spent with the people we love. enjoy and have fun. live life to the fullest while you still can.

something very bad just happened to my Dad. i have no idea what's wrong but he's really sick. i'm so scared, so worried. bro just drove Mum and Dad to the hospital. i'm tired but i couldn't sleep. i hope he'll be alright, i hope everything will be fine. i pray and hope that it is only a minor illness. please God, do Bless my Dad. Bless my family because they are too important to me. Thank you.

yesterday we had this so-called advance farewell celebration for one of our colleagues in a pub. it was a great night although there's no one in the pub except for us. that person who is leaving in a month time paid for all the drinks we had. thanks!! it was a great night, a night to remember. a night which i can never forget how crazy and stupid i was. what i've done that night was way far from what you could imagine, something that none of my colleagues dare to do. one of them told me that i was so brave to have done "that". though she knew that person longer than i do, she said that she can never do what i've done. she doesn't dare to do that "thing". couldn't believe that i've actually done that. i didn't think about anything at all when i was doing that "thing". i just did that because i wanted to. on that day itself, i don't think that it's stupid, i don't think that it's crazy until just now, when i was thinking about it again, i seriously couldn't believe what i've done. what the hell was i thinking at that time??!! i started to wonder, but i have no idea. how can i be so SILLY, how can i be SO STUPID and HOW CAN I BE SO CRAZY??!! freaking shit. lets try to forget it because it's over. darn. thank God my colleagues were ok with it, which i hope they really are. phewww...

p/s: that "thing" is not about sex or kiss or something obscene. ok, it's just about piggyback. not a big deal you said? you don't know...it's BIG...to me.

never ever plan an outing. if you wanna go just go. DON'T PLAN. i'm not sure if it happens to others but it always happens to me, and i mean ALWAYS. everytime when my friends and i plan something, we are excited of course, especially me. but never once does the plan works. it will always end up with disappointment.

the plan for yesterday was a total screwed up. the plan was to have dinner with some mates and after dinner, we'll be heading to one of the club in town. it was supposed to be a great night but somehow planning an event is something i don't believe in (yet i'm still doing it all the time). i knew it will never work like what we've planned, and i actually sense that something will go wrong, very wrong. true enough, one by one started to call to say that they couldn't make it and bla bla bla. i was disappointed but what can i do. till the end, only 2 person could make it for dinner, and one of them was me.

since the plan was totally screwed up and dinner for 2 sounds so sad, i decided to call off the night. was at home sleeping until a friend called and asked me bout the night. she was so eager to know what's the plan like and she suggested that we should go to The Loft. i was shocked, she's the type that hardly ask her friends to club. since she's so interested to go and i've never been to The Loft, i decided to go out that night.

i managed to find 2 other friends to accompany me at TGI Friday's while waiting for this particular friend of mine to come. finally she came and she brought along a huge surprise with her. LEE SAN was back!! wow..i gave out 2 shouts when i saw her. the first was nothing, quite low but the second one was loud. that's when everyone in the restaurant started turning their heads and looked at us. i've been FOOLED! next we headed to The Loft and there i met a few friends. friends that i've never met for quite some time. one of them just got back from UK for holidays. he was someone i used to fancy. and i repeat, USED TO fancy.

anyhow, i'm glad that i've made the right choice to go out that night. happy to see Lee San again.

Natasha Bedingfield
I Bruise Easily

My skin is like a map
Of where my heart has been
And I can't hide the marks
It's not a negative thing
So I let down my guard
Drop my defenses down by my clothes
I'm learning to fall
With no safety net to cushion the blow

I bruise easily
So be gentle when you handle me
There’s a mark you leave
Like a love heart carved on a tree
I bruise easily
Can’t scratch the surface
Without moving me underneath
I bruise easily
I bruise easily

I found your fingerprints
On a glass of wine
Do you know you're leaving them
All over this heart of mine too
But if I never take this leap of faith
I'll never know
So I’m learning to fall
With no safety net to cushion the blow

I bruise easily
So be gentle when you handle me
There’s a mark you leave
Like a love heart carved on a tree
I bruise easily
Can’t scratch the surface
Without moving me underneath
I bruise easily
I bruise easily

Anyone who can touch you
Can hurt you or heal you
Anyone who can reach you
Can love you or leave you

So be gentle...

I bruise easily
So be gentle when you handle me
There’s a mark you leave
Like a love heart carved on a tree
I bruise easily
Can’t scratch the surface
Without moving me underneath
I bruise easily
I bruise easily

I bruise easily
I bruise easily

wrote this entry down on a piece of paper on the 22nd July 2005. was in Kota Kinabalu for business trip. here goes...

22 July - i'm in my room reading with the radio on, listening to mix.fm and it's 3:50am now. the radio is playing this song called "If You're Not The One" by Daniel Bedingfield. i'm not a fan of his, nor do i fancy this song. somehow i started to have this weird feeling lingering in my heart. it reminds me of the time when i was in London. i always heard this song on air on one of the radio stations in London when i was working in this clinic. the station is called London's Heart 106.2. they love playing this song over and over again for the whole day. guess i really miss the time i had. how nice if i can freeze the time when i was there with my mates. memories, something to be remembered...ALWAYS..

the decision i've made to go out for dinner with my colleagues yesterday is never a mistake. that night, we met a pilot, Captain Chris and we had dinner together. it was a great night, we had a great time talking, joking and laughing for hours. after dinner, the Capt and i spent another hour talking and i found that he's a really nice chap; understanding, smart, funny, caring. of course when i said that, it does not mean that i'm into him. i think he's old enough to be my Dad, he's probably around his 40s, yet age doesn't matter for us to be friends. but i really do like him as in i really enjoy the time we've had together that night and of course it would be great if we could just stay in touch and be close friends. an older and wiser man as a good friend? why not. and once again, i'm not into him please.

something is really wrong between Tracy and i. lately, we seems to have more arguements whenever we meet. guess there are some miscommunications and misunderstanding going on. it's so hard. she's always hoping that i'll understand her feelings and situations, but can she just for once think about my feelings and situations? i'm just hoping that we'll be fine soon.

it was my big day yesterday; my Birthday. but i never got to celebrate it because i have to work. yeah, working on Sunday was pathetic and miserable, even worst when you have to work on your own once-in-a-year big day. anyhow, Happy Belated Birthday to me!!!

life is so sad once i started working. working hours are so unpredictable and my life is turning upside down. i'm always complaining about my job, but still i'm doing it because i'm left with no choice. ok lets just try looking at the bright side. at least i have a job, a source of income and i'm earning for a living. it doesn't really matter about the amount i'm earning. as for me, the amount isn't important, what's more important is my interest towards my job. i would rather choose a job that i enjoy and am happy with, with less pay than doing something i dislike. but what's happening to me now is totally different from what i've wanted. i must admit that the money i'm earning is quite good but the problem is i'm not enjoying what i'm doing. maybe i just need more time to cope with it. i may look happy but i'm not. it's the "Happy" mask i put on and people do not know how miserable i am inside. it's really hard to live with this mask on. hope that one day, i do not have to live with this mask on to shows that i'm happy, but to have my own true happy face and be the real me.

Quote of the day:
~Do what you love and love what you do. That means, do something because you love it, not because you want it to bring you fame and fortune.

my job is killing me. i'm turning to be a zombie real soon and please, do welcome me into the World of Zombies. i'm working like a slave, a cow or should i say buffalo. actually my job is worst than that. this is so hard to believe and yes, i still couldn't cope with this kind of life. i'm doing my second practical now, and yeah they're killing me. i'm suffering from severe back pain, actually suffering from pain all over the body, lack of sleep (seriously i might just collapsed from exhaustion one day), losing weight and losing friends. been working and working and working, that i have no time at all to spend it with my friends and even my family. sis told me today that since i started this job, my house seems to be a hotel to me. all i do is come back and sleep and go to work again. it's sad to hear that, especially from my own sis, but this is my life now. had a talk with my Mum regarding this matter and i'm glad that she understands. she knew that my job requires a lot of sacrifices, i need to let go many things..

today is our last day in class. after this we'll be heading to our own path and we do not know when will we be meeting each other again. thinking about it makes me feel so sad. we will still be meeting each other for the very last time during our graduation day but things are gonna be so different then.

All the best to YOU GUYS!!! gonna miss all of you...

met up with Tracy yesterday and i am trying to meet up with her as often as i can before i finish my training and started working full time. i believe things will never be the same as before once i started working full time. i'll be spending most of my time working and the time to be spent with my family and friends will be reduced. you might think that it couldn't be as bad as what i've said, but trust me, it is that bad. i'm not doing a 9-5 job. our working hours and days are inflexible. sometimes we'll have to work on weekends, public holidays and special occasions. i'm just afraid that friends might think that i'm forgetting and neglecting them, but i hope that they will understand my situation. this is going to be a tough one. i've talked about this with my family and they understand perfectly. Thank you.

time is running out. we are left with only 7 more working days to go, for us to spend our time together in the same class. after that 7 days, we'll be going to different paths where we will never be able to see each other again, unless we're very very lucky to be assigned to work together. and that is a very rare case. the percentage for us to be assigned to work together is as low as 1%. so it seems to be a total impossible thing.

for the past few days, i was trying to enjoy and appreciate my time with my fellow colleagues/classmates, especially with this particular friend of mine, who sat next to me. we were supposed to have a great time talking to each other, but due to my sad condition (i have super sore throat), i lost my voice for freaking 3 days of work and i couldn't communicate with him. on the last day of work, that was Friday, out of nowhere, he wrote something on a piece of paper which i believe were lyrics, and he gave it to me. he then told me that he wrote those stuff to his gf when he was a drug addict last time. yes he used to be a drug addict. he confessed that to us during his 4th speech and i think that it's so brave of him to tell us that. it's never easy to say something especially something that's bad about oneself to the public. however i was shocked and surprised when he showed me the paper. i think he wanted to share his past with me, needed a friend to talk to about his past. i don't mind listening to him as i myself wanted to know more about him. nothing more, but just as a friend. he's a guy full with mysteries, awaiting for someone to explore it. i wanted to ask him about his past, especially his life as a drug addict before, but i couldn't do it because of my voice. and i do not know should i ask him or not. well lets just wait and see how thing goes..

YES!! finally i experienced something good during my practical experience today. it was hell a lot better than my first one. i was given an opportunity to do something which i think none of my colleagues got to experience it. well finally i got something nice to say about my practical experience tomorrow when we gather in the class again. at least i won't feel like an idiot when people started talking about how fun and how great their experiences were tomorrow.

we did our first practical experience relating to our job yesterday. we were put into a group of 2, some 3. different group were given different tasks, different venue and different time. i wasn't really enjoying my practical. i was in a group with 2 other colleagues and they were having fun especially Sam. we met up with some other colleagues later and they were talking about how nice their experiences were. when it was my turn, i do not know what to say. it wasn't a very enjoyable one. i was just there, standing like an idiot and i learnt nothing at all. yeah, it could be my fault for not asking anything, but when i asked, the people doesn't seems to like me, they do not want to answer me too. just faced it, i do not have the friendly look. i have the look that everybody hates when they see me. others were saying that they had a great time and i was the only one, sitting there trying to be quiet. i'm going to have my second practical tomorrow, where everyone will have to do it individually. lets hope that it's going to be a GREAT one for me, at least i can say something about the GREAT experience i'll be having.

we, as in my colleagues and i went to the airport today for some working purposes. we were supposed to gather at around 7:15am and depart together but somehow, 7 of us were late. so 10 of the other colleagues went to the airport without us, and they went with the shuttle bus. we decided to drive there and off we go in 2 different cars, speeding on the highway like some crazy maniacs. Rosh and i were in the same car and we have no idea where to park the car because the parking fee in the airport is super expensive. so we were wondering and wondering while following our friend's car from behind. then he drove to the pick-up point at the arrival terminal and he just parked there right in front of 2 police officers. we were shocked!! he then talked to this man standing with the 2 officers and we thought that was his friend. we parked our car there then. we were like the VIPs. fuh..i just loved that moment. and later we found out that, that man whom my friend talked to, is not his friend but his Dad. we were like...COOLLLL!! his Dad is a police officer, a detective sergeant working in KLIA. that experience was a very COOL one.

He is online and i'm chatting with Him now, while blogging here. somehow i felt that He's hiding something from me. i even have this feeling that tells me that He's lying to me too about "this thing" which He thought that i don't know, which in fact i knew. hmmm...sounds kinda complicated. anyhow i do not know why it's bothering me so much. it's not as if there's something between us right now. maybe i dislike Him for being dishonest.

i do not know what is He trying to do. i received a message from Him from friendster yesterday. it was a total shock. He did not use friendster for months and suddenly He's appearing again. but what's the point then, when He's not being sincere and He doesn't even care. yup that's just Him. always there to give you surprises once a while and go missing in action for months. jerk!!

it's Labour Day! yay!! and tomorrow is a public holiday too. just came back from shopping. bought a pair of new Levi's jeans, a pair of long pants for work and a skirt. tried hunting for shoes again, but still couldn't find any. this is so freaking annoying. where are all the nice shoes??!! it's either no size or out of stock. so freaking pissed!!

i had a dream today. He came to Malaysia and yes we had a great time together. but it's all just a dream. am trying to get over Him but suddenly dreamt of Him. well it's alright, it's just a dream.

brought Hailie to the vet in the noon. she couldn't jump nor run for the past few days, i think she sprained one of her legs while chasing after cats the other day. but the vet said that she's fine, no sprained leg but she has an infected paw and ears. Hailie was given 2 injections and a few tablets, as well as a bottle of antibiotic for the infections. it's so sad to see Hailie so moody. she's a very active and playful dog, but now she's so quiet. by the way, Hailie is a toy poodle. love her so much...


My baby, Hailie.

woke up today and my body is aching all over. went clubbing yesterday with my colleagues. it was quite a fun night out, however there were times when things got kinda screwed up too. sigh..suddenly i'm running out of words. forgot what i wanted to write here. anyhow i'm feeling sleepy again. gee..guess i'm too old to party till "early" morning. gonna go get some sleep again... before that, here are some cute pics that i found..


Image 1


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Image 3

so confuse. i thought that i will be happy to hear "this news" but i don't. i'm not as happy as i should be. i'm so confuse about this feeling in me. why??

i accidently dropped my freaking bag today and yes, my mobile phone is in there. damn it!! now there's a big crack line on the screen. argghhh...so mad and so sad.

the pictures below are non-animated pictures. they are related to your pressure level. if you see them move, then that means you have pressure currently. the speed of the movement is the level of your pressure. the higher the moving speed, the higher pressure you have. most children and old men see the pictures as non-moving images and keep still. test yourself regularly with these pictures to know yourself better.
sometimes, it is good to have an appropriate pressure to push us to do better, but too much pressure can cause us to the end of the edge. thus be relaxed when you know you have too much pressure inside!


Image 1


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omg..it's been a while since i last blogged. i've been very very busy since i started my training. having exams almost every week and lack of sleep all the time. i think i'm losing weight when i actually need to gain more weight. darn!! yup life isn't the same now, studying life and working life are totally DIFFERENT. i miss my student life, i miss my room in Ted Lewis Hall, I MISS LONDON. going out later to catch up with some friends. it's been a while since we last met. well everyone is busy with whatever they're doing now. so...

i seriously need to put on some weight. but how? i'm a freaking big eater, ya if you see the amount of food i eat, you'll be surprised. i eat and eat and eat, like what my friend used to say, i can swallow the whole elephant but my weight is still the same, constant 43kg. according to the Body Mass Index chart, i'm freaking underweight. that's so unhealthy. the ideal weight for me is at least 48kg. 48kg?? how can i get there from 43kg??!! there might be something wrong with my body. i ate so much and i couldn't even gain 1kg. so it's either my body couldn't absorb the nutrient or there are worms inside me. my Mum asked me to try deworming myself. deworm?? imagine having worms either dead or alive coming out from your arse. eww...yucks...that scares the bejesus out of me.

i just came back and couldn't wait to blog about this stupid thing that just happened to me not too long ago. after work/class, i went to Subang Parade to meet my sis and bro to go home together. i was wearing "baju kurung" and heck, i just hate people mistaken me as a Malay. do i look like one first of all??!! of course i know that i look a little tan, but still i believe i have that typical Chinese look. i went to this footwear store and i spoke to this particular lady in English. she then replied in Bahasa Malaysia. fine, i thought that she's a Malay, but when i looked at her nametag, she's a freaking Chinese. so why is she speaking to me in Bahasa??!! fine, i talked to her in Bahasa as well and walked off. then when we were heading to our car in the carpark, this Malay lady handed me a book, some Quran book. i was lke...WHAT THE FUCK!!! ya i was pissed of course, but my sis was laughing behind. i don't get it. do i really look like a Malay??!! that's not the first or second time it happened to me, it happened few times before, people mistaken me as a Malay. i might look tan alright, but still i'm a FREAKING CHINESE with a FREAKING TYPICAL CHINESE LOOK. felt so insulted. no offence to anyone of course, but i just hate being mistaken as someone else, as in different race or religion. those people must be FUCKING BLIND!!!

couldn't sleep last night, kept thinking about "this" matter which my instructor told me about. sigh... i hate this life of mine now, but i know that what they're doing are for our own good.

i miss my old life
i miss my student life
i miss my friends
i miss the good old days i had with my friends
i miss talking to my family especially my Mum
i miss playing with my dog everyday
i miss my jeans
i miss my sneakers
i miss my night life
i miss "mamak"
i miss going online and chat with my friends far far away from Malaysia
i miss everything
life is never the same again...

my life is changing drastically since i started my training. i'm living in this boring and exhausting life everyday. i need to get up freaking early in the morning everyday, at 4:30am. go for classes then come home late in the evening. no more online, no more going out with friends at night, all i do is sleep, sleep and sleep. i'm like a total different person now, both physically and mentally. family are so surprised to see the changes in me, and i believe my friends will be shocked too. i'm turning from a funky looking girl to an elegant lady. sigh... I'M NOT ME ANYMORE!!! the ladies are required to wear pants or skirts with jacket on (suits), makeup and hair tied up nicely. gentlemen with collar shirt and tie. we must look NEAT. it makes me look like a career woman and i don't like it. i'm too young to dress that way and it makes me look much older, but i have no choice.

there's an extremely big hole in my pocket. haven't got my pay yet and i've been spending way too much from what we're getting. suits and makeup are not cheap. for the very first time, at the age of 22, i owned my very own complete set of cosmetics; from foundation to concealer, eyeliner to brow pencil, eyeshadows, mascara, blusher, lipstick and finishing powder. everything cost me a bomb. i even spent more than i can earned. this is freaking sad.

suddenly i'm thinking of "Him" and i miss "Him"...

What your Birth month means:

JANUARY
* Ambitious and serious
* Loves to teach and be taught
* Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses
* Likes to criticize
* Hardworking and productive
* Smart, neat and organized
* Sensitive and has deep thoughts
* Knows how to make others happy
* Quiet unless excited or tensed
* Rather reserved
* Highly attentive
* Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds
* Romantic but has difficulties expressing love
* Loves children
* Homely person
* Loyal
* Needs to improve social abilities
* Easily jealous

FEBRUARY
* Abstract thoughts
* Loves reality and abstract
* Intelligent and clever
* Changing personality
* Temperamental
* Quiet, shy and humble
* Low self esteem
* Honest and loyal
* Determined to reach goals
* Loves freedom
* Rebellious when restricted
* Loves aggressiveness
* Too sensitive and easily hurt
* Showing anger easily
* Dislike unnecessary things
* Loves making friends but rarely shows it
* Daring and stubborn
* Ambitious
* Realizing dreams and hopes
* Sharp
* Loves entertainment and leisure
* Romantic on the inside not outside
* Superstitious and ludicrous
* Spendthrift
* Learns to show emotions

MARCH
* Attractive personality
* Affectionate
* Shy and reserved
* Secretive
* Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic
* Loves peace and serenity
* Sensitive to others
* Loves to serve others
* Not easily angered
* Trustworthy
* Appreciative and returns kindness
* Observant and assess others
* Revengeful
* Loves to dream and fantasize
* Loves traveling
* Loves attention
* Loves home decors
* Musically talented
* Loves special things
* Moody

APRIL
* Active and dynamic
* Decisive and hateful but tends to regret
* Attractive and affectionate to oneself
* Strong mentality
* Loves attention
* Diplomatic
* Consoling
* Friendly and solves people's problems
* Brave and fearless
* Adventurous
* Loving and caring
* Suave and generous
* Emotional
* Revengeful
* Aggressive
* Hasty
* Good memory
* Moving
* Motivate oneself and the others
* Sickness usually of the head and chest
* Easily get too jealous

MAY
* Stubborn and hard-hearted
* Strong-willed and highly motivated
* Sharp thoughts
* Easily angered
* Attracts others and loves attention
* Deep feelings
* Beautiful physically and mentally
* Firm standpoint
* Easily influenced
* Needs no motivation
* Easily consoled
* Systematic (left brain)
* Loves to dream
* Strong clairvoyance
* Understanding
* Sickness usually in the ear and neck
* Good imagination
* Good debating skills
* Good physical
* Weak breathing
* Loves literature and the arts
* Loves traveling
* Dislike being at home
* Restless
* Hardworking
* High spirited
* Spendthrift

JUNE
* Thinks far with vision
* Easily influenced by kindness
* Polite and soft-spoken
* Having lots of ideas
* Sensitive
* Active mind
* Hesitating
* Tends to delay
* Choosy and always wants the best
* Temperamental
* Funny and humorous
* Loves to joke
* Good debating skills
* Talkative
* Daydreamer
* Friendly
* Knows how to make friends
* Abiding
* Able to show character
* Easily hurt
* Prone to getting colds
* Loves to dress up
* Easily bored
* Fussy
* Seldom show emotions
* Takes time to recover when hurt
* Brand conscious
* Executive
* Stubborn
* Those who loves me are enemies
* Those who hates me are friends

JULY
* Fun to be with
* Secretive
* Difficult to fathom and to be understood
* Quiet unless excited or tensed
* Takes pride in oneself
* Has reputation
* Easily consoled
* Honest
* Concern about people's feelings
* Tactful
* Friendly
* Approachable
* Very emotional
* Temperamental and unpredictable
* Moody and easily hurt
* Witty and sarky
* Sentimental
* Not revengeful
* Forgiving but never forgets
* Dislike nonsensical and unnecessary things
* Guides others physically and mentally
* Sensitive and forms impressions carefully
* Caring and loving
* Treats others equally
* Strong sense of sympathy
* Wary and sharp
* Judge people through observations
* Hardworking
* No difficulties

AUGUST
* Loves to joke
* Attractive
* Suave and caring
* Brave and fearless
* Firm and has leadership qualities
* Knows how to console others
* Too generous and egoistic
* Takes high pride of oneself
* Thirsty for praises
* Extraordinary spirit
* Easily angered
* Angry when provoked
* Easily jealous
* Observant
* Careful and cautious
* Thinks quickly
* Independent thoughts
* Loves to lead and to be led
* Loves to dream
* Talented in the arts, music and defense
* Sensitive but not petty
* Poor resistance against illnesses
* Learns to relax
* Hasty and rushy
* Romantic
* Loving and caring
* Loves to make friends

SEPTEMBER
* Suave and compromising
* Careful, cautious and organized
* Likes to point out people's mistakes
* Likes to criticize
* Quiet but able to talk well
* Calm and cool
* Kind and sympathetic
* Concerned and detailed
* Trustworthy, loyal and honest
* Does work well
* Sensitive
* Thinking
* Good memory
* Clever and knowledgeable
* Loves to look for information
* Must control oneself when criticizing
* Able to motivate oneself
* Understanding
* Secretive
* Loves sports, leisure and traveling
* Hardly shows emotions
* Tends to bottle up feelings
* Choosy especially in relationships
* Loves wide things
* Systematic

OCTOBER
* Loves to chat
* Loves those who loves him
* Loves to takes things at the centre
* Attractive and suave
* Inner and physical beauty
* Does not lie or pretend
* Sympathetic
* Treats friends importantly
* Always making friends
* Easily hurt but recovers easily
* Bad tempered
* Selfish
* Seldom helps unless asked
* Daydreamer
* Very opinionated
* Does not care of what others think
* Emotional
* Decisive
* Strong clairvoyance
* Loves to travel, the arts and literature
* Soft-spoken, loving and caring
* Romantic
* Touchy and easily jealous
* Concerned
* Loves outdoors
* Just and fair
* Spendthrift and easily influenced
* Easily lose confidence

NOVEMBER
* Has a lot of ideas
* Difficult to fathom
* Thinks forward
* Unique and brilliant
* Extraordinary ideas
* Sharp thinking
* Fine and strong clairvoyance
* Can become good doctors
* Careful and cautious
* Dynamic in personality
* Secretive
* Inquisitive
* Knows how to dig secrets
* Always thinking
* Less talkative but amiable
* Brave and generous
* Patient
* Stubborn and hard-hearted
* If there is a will, there is a way
* Determined
* Never give up
* Hardly become angry unless provoked
* Loves to be alone
* Thinks differently from others
* Sharp-minded
* Motivates oneself
* Does not appreciates praises
* High-spirited
* Well-built and tough
* Deep love

DECEMBER
* Loyal and generous
* Patriotic
* Active in games and interactions
* Impatient and hasty
* Ambitious
* Influential in organizations
* Fun to be with
* Loves to socialize
* Loves praises
* Loves attention
* Loves to be loved
* Honest and trustworthy
* Not pretending
* Short tempered
* Changing personality
* Not egoistic
* Takes high pride in oneself
* Hates restrictions
* Loves to joke
* Good sense of humor
* Logical

had an extremely stupid dream today - my neighbour was attacked by a Predator right in front of my house. it's stupid but interesting. haha...

yesterday A text me out of nowhere. she wanted to ask me out and talk about us; me and she. i was thinking, what the hell.. anyhow i couldn't make it because i'm going out with family in an hour time when she text me. asked her what is there to talk about, she replied me with this: "kinda miss you and you never even call me! like you hate me or something. might sounds silly to you but not to me. felt like we don't know each other anymore. misses you for long time, just waiting for you to call. but you didn't. i know you have new life, so do i. and today, i read your old letters for me when i was in poli and so i decided to let it all out. even if we won't be buddies like we used to, i have no regrets after letting you know i still hope we can be good friends like we used to. thank you." i've been thinking, if she misses me so much, is it really hard for her to call me then?? why must i call her. i mean how would the hell i know that she's missing me and that she's waiting for my call? isn't it suppose to be the other way round, she misses me so she should call and let me know about it?? hmm... well whatever. so i replied her back, "people change and things change, i believe you knew that. some things can never be the same like what it used to be, that's the fact. sometimes people made mistakes without realizing it, but when they do, it's too late. sometimes people just don't appreciate what they really have, but when they do, it's just too late. over means over. the past is the past. what i'm trying to say is that although we can never be like what we used to be, you are still a friend to me. no hard feelings. i'm not saying that it's your fault, because it could be my fault too. but things between us will never be like what we used to be. i hope you understand it". alright, i might sound too harsh or mean, but it's good to make things clear between us.

it has been quite some time since i last blogged. i think i'm going to blog less now, since i started my training. so busy and so tired with everything everyday. so from now onwards, i'll either post a message or two or maybe none in a week. but i'll try to blog no matter what.

first day of training was a torture, both physically and mentally. it made me wonder if i've made the right choice to take the offer right at the first place. however there's nothing i can do but to learn to like it now. i've already signed the contract. before i leave my house to class, i actually have the thought to give up (that's before i hand in the agreement forms), but i told myself, since i've been this far, why not give it a try. afterall, i always thought that the job i'm going to take is fun. never knew that the training was that scary and horrible. in the end, i can only choose to learn and like it. somehow i told myself to take this opportunity to challenge myself but i'm not quite sure if i can make it. the reasons they're treating us that strict are because they wanted to train us to be as perfect as we can, to be a good person, to be discipline and to be responsible. i knew that what they're doing are actually for our own good, but it's kinda harsh for me that i just couldn't accept it at the first place. that's life, life is never easy. guess i need some time to get used to all these and hopefully i'll be able to take all the pressures given.

went to the bank this morning and opened my account. finally the system is working. came back, had my breakfast and went online. checked my mail and at last a friend replied my mail. i mailed her twice few days ago regarding my graduation photos. FUCK HER!! i'm so mad at her. i'm so freaking piss!! she's the worst human i've ever known. she's the most selfish human on earth. SHE'S A FREAKING HORRIBLE BITCH. no i think the term "bitch" is too good for her, she's just indescribable. and i think she deserves to be named here, her name is Ashley. yup, i talked about her before in my earlier posts.

the story goes like this. my graduation photos were addressed to her address in London. i was staying with her and another friend before i came back to Malaysia. unfortunately, there were some problems with the delivery and i have to come back here without my graduation photos. few months later, the photos arrived and i told her to keep them for me. 2 weeks ago my cousin told me that her husband, who is in London is coming back to Malaysia next month. thought that he could bring the photos back for me. that's why i mailed Ashley, but somehow she told me to contact this other friend and asked her about this. so i asked the other girl, Nikki and she told me everything. and you know what, i can never have my photos back. that bloody Ashley took my photos and Nikki's luggage to the train station and left them in the left luggage office. she left everything there for more than 3 months already. how do you expect me and Nikki to pay for the deposits and other charges?!! ARGGHHH..... i really feel like punching her on the face. Nikki was pissed about this when she knew that Ashley left all her luggage in the left luggage office in the train station. she did not know that Ashley put my photos in there too. STUPID BITCH!! i paid freaking £42.95 for the photos and now they're all gone. you know what Ashley, THANKS FOR THIS...

yesterday's dinner was terrible. the food suck. and they knew about my job. i saw them laughing and whispering to each other and laughing again. go on, laugh as much as you like, go on and laugh your ass out. it doesn't matter to me.
i don't like them, i don't like them for being such a terrible relatives. it was my cousin's son's birthday last night. all my other relatives got their share of cakes except for us. they were giving it away to others right in front of us (Mum and i) and we got none. it's alright if they did not give us any (we don't eat "cheap" spongecakes too). but giving the others right in front of us without giving us anything, that's not a very good thing to be done. you call that a big happy family? i doubt it. it's ok, i believe in karma.

this is going to be the stupidest thing ever. to open an account in this particular bank, you need to make an appointment. what the... i went to two different branch of "this bank" in Klang yesterday and they did not allow me to open an account without an appointment. it's a new policy according to them. i was like...ok. there's nothing i can do because the company i'm going to work for requires us to have an account in this bank. went to another branch in Bayu Perdana this morning and thank God, they are still using the old policy. BUT the system is down. went back there again later, and it's still down. STUPID SYSTEM!! so i need to go there again tomorrow morning. please please please, i hope it's working tomorrow morning.


New hair colour. Paid RM140 for both colouring and treatment.

i've decided to take the offer, FINALLY. just made up my mind yesterday. it's going to be a brand new life from next week onwards. couldn't even imagine what's awaiting for me in front. i hope that i can cope with everything. i hope that i'll never regret taking the offer. i hope that i'll like this job. i hope that everything will go on smoothly. i hope and i hope and i hope. everyone will be so damn shocked and surprised to know about this job of mine, especially my relatives. they'll call me stupid, they'll call me dumb. i'm a graduate from a university in London and what i'm going to do has nothing to do with what i've studied. totally not related. they'll say that i'm so stupid for wasting so much money to study abroad. but i don't care. this is my life and this is what i've chosen. if i'll ever regret taking the job, then it's my fault, my problem. so if you're going to say something about my stupidity, please bug off and i think it's better for you to remain silent. all i need are some words of encouragement and not some criticism. thank you so much. there's a dinner tonight, family dinner with relatives in Klang. i wonder if they knew about my job or not. we'll see...

going out later to colour my hair to black again. but i need to go to the bank first to open a new account. i wish i have more time but i don't. sigh...

so many things to do yet so little time. i thought that i have a few more weeks before the training started but just realized that i only have a week. goodness.. i have not decide whether to take the offer or not yet. part of me said yes and part of me said no. this is so frustrating. argghhh....

hey hey, it's my friend's birthday today. just dropped him a message in his homepage.

Happy Birthday to "You"! wishing you all the best on your special day and everything good in the year ahead...

listen to this - The Egg Song. so damn cute...

Gemini - Your Love Profile

Your positive traits:

Your lively, outgoing attitude attracts people to you everywhere you go.
You can talk your way into - and out of - any situation you desire.
You're adaptable enough to flirt with anyone - and people tend to fight over you.

Your negative traits:

You get easily bored in relationships, and tend to jump from person to person.
You tend to be a bit of a player - and have a high tolerance for drama in relationships.
Not the most emphathetic person, you tend to tell lovers to "get over" their problems.

Your ideal partner:

Is intelligent and quick witted enough to keep you interested.
Is a bit of a shape shifter, providing you with the variety you crave.
An open minded person, who's willling to have a non-traditional relationship.

Your dating style:

Exciting. If your date shows you a new experience (like Egyptian food or scuba diving), you're very happy.

Your seduction style:

Experimental: it's rare that you try the same thing twice.
Ultra kinky - you do stuff that's not even in books yet.
Hot and cold... sometimes you're just not into the whole sex thing.

Tips for the future:

Settle down a little. Sometimes good things come with time - so don't let people go so fast.
Acknowledge that you're a player and flirt. If your mate can't live with this, find someone who can.
Give your partner a little more attention. You don't have to be a social butterfly all the time.

Best place to meet someone online:

Match.com - enough sexy singles for you to find a new playmate when you get restless

Best color to attract mate: Sunny yellow

Best day for a date: Wednesday

Get your free love profile at Blogthings.

what a day.. was chatting with Tracy at around 1am and she was so damn pissed. a friend of hers called from Malacca and told her that there's a seminar later at 8am. it's a very important one where attendants will be taken and marks are given. she was pissed because all her friends are being selfish and did not tell her earlier about this seminar. she came back on Wednesday night for the prayers and she doesn't know about the seminar at all, when all her friends knew and did not tell her about it. then we went out to mamak at around 2am with her cousin sister. Tracy was so mad, she wanted to cry. she knew she can't make it for the seminar unless someone fetch her back to Malacca. the earliest bus departs at 8:30am, so there's no way she can make it. her cousin is so nice, she decided to fetch Tracy to Malacca. so all of us went to Malacca at 4am. reached there at around 6am, slept for 4 hours and came back to Klang again at around 11:30am. reached home at around 1:30pm, took a quick shower, get dressed and went out again to collect my agreement forms. came back at around 5:15pm, ate a plate of noodles and had a 2 hours nap. i'm going out again soon, to a friend's house. ah..i'm so sleepy. i better go take another quick shower then have my dinner and get ready to leave. ciaoz...

received a very shocking phone call just now. it's regarding job B. they're offering me the job!! surprise surprise!! i was surprised. never thought that this will be happening to me but it's happening now. however, that call made me got stuck in the state of confusion. should i take the offer or not? thought that this is what i've wanted but now that i've got it, i kinda doubt and unsure about it. this is madness. then i was told that i need to go to the HR department tomorrow to get the agreement forms. that's freaking fast. told my parents about it and Dad said that he'll fetch me there. guess my parents are being supportive here, so i'll just take the offer. if the worst comes to the worst, i'll either regret taking the offer or vice versa.

i don't like the way i'm feeling right now. i have this feeling since yesterday and it's not a good thing. i'm so green with envy. i'm full with jealousies and envies. not a good thing but i can't help myself. i'm mad and furious. feel so stupid and useless and being used all the time. why are people taking me for granted?! i'm not asking for more, all i want is some appreciation and care that shows how true you are as a friend. damn.. i don't know why am i feeling this way. guess the older i get the more sensitive i've become. sigh..

Quote of the day:
~Do not overrate what you have received, nor envy others. He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind - Buddha

yup i'm not obtaining any peace right now. shall try to forget about it.

we'll be having a prayer later at 12am. it's a very big day for all the Hokkiens.
Click here to learn about The Spring Festival

shame to say that i actually went for the movie yesterday. 'jie' called and asked me to go. and since 'jie' is fetching another gal to Klang as well, i've finally made up my mind to go. however, we were late for the movie and we missed the front part. but overall it's not a very bad movie. quite good - opinion from a person who doesn't fancy romance movie and that's ME

When I saw you I was afraid to meet you
Now that I've met you I'm afraid to kiss you
Now that I've kissed you I'm afraid to love you
And now that I love you I'm afraid to lose you

The way I feel for you I can't describe
It's almost too intense to verbalize
Essentially you're all I'm living for
Basically each day I need you more

I'm NOT supposed to love you
I'm NOT supposed to care
I'm NOT supposed to live my life
wishing you were there
I'm NOT supposed to wonder
where you are or what you do
BUT I'm sorry I can't help myself
I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU♡

Frustrated cuz I can't tell if it's Real
Mad cuz I don't know how you Feel
Upset cuz we can't make it Right
Sad cuz I need you Day and Night
Angry cuz you won't hold my Hand
Aggravated cuz you don't Understand
Disappointed cuz we can't be Together
But still I'll Love You Forever

I cry for the times you were almost mine
I cry for the memories I've left behind
I cry for the pain, the lost, the old and the new
I cry for the times I thought I had you

Don't underestimate the love in me
It's obvious these feelings run so deep
I fall and fall for you day after day
Nobody else could ever take your place
So take a look at me now
There's just an empty space
There's nothing left here to remind me
Just the memory of your face...

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!

i'm back!! home sweet home..was back on Saturday night, went out yesterday and today i'm back to the same old routine again; staying at home doing nothing. need to start my job hunting soon although i'm so lazy to do it. nothing much to say, nothing much happened during CNY except that i ate a lot, extremely a lot and gained a few kilos and yes, a few inches on my waistline too. blerghh..

my hdd crashed again. DARN!! for the freaking second time my hdd crashed. the first time was in London, lost all my documents of course and most importantly, ALL THE PICTURES!! and now the same thing happened again. yes, lost all the documents again and of course all the pictures too. thank God i burned most of the pictures 2 weeks ago, but how stupid of me, i only burned pictures taken on 2003 and 2004. did not burn the pictures taken on 2005. STUPID STUPID DUMB DUMB!! arghh...so mad. oh and all my mp3s too. ARGHHH!!!

yes it's Valentine's Day today and i've decided not to go out with anyone at all. i've rejected 2 invitations for dinner tonight. Nikki got free tickets for the movie "Shall We Dance" tonight at KLCC but i've decided not to go as well. why??
1. not really into romance movie. although it's free but i don't think i'll enjoy watching it. it's better to stay at home and watch astro. haha...
2. if i'm going, 'jie' need to fetch me back again. he just fetched me back yesterday and i feel so guilty. well everytime when i'm out with them, 'jie' is the one who need to fetch me back. how can i not feel guilty??!!
so it's a lot better for me to stay at home. you guys enjoy the movie then.
Happy Valentine's Day to everyone!!

it's the first day of Chinese New Year. Gong Xi Fa Chai!! and it's also the beginning of my doomsday. i can't imagine how am i going to face all my relatives again, with the very same old questions "are you working now? NO!! why? when are you going to look for a job?" and bla bla bla.. so sick and tired with all these. bleh..

we'll be leaving later early in the morning, probably 7am. going to the temple first before heading to Kedah, my uncle's place where we usually spend our first day of CNY there. 7am is early, very early. not sure should i sleep or not. i can never have a good sleep in the car. come to think of it, i don't really sleep throughout the whole journey. well maybe a very short nap in between, but to sum them up, it's never more than 1 hour. i remembered last year my younger sis and i stayed awake until the next morning, and i suffered from a headache when we reached my uncle's house. well like what i've just said, i can never really sleep in the car. so to avoid that incident to happen again, maybe i should just take a nap after i'm done with this post. actually i'm quite sleepy now, plus i can barely open my eyes. guess i should just sleep, although i might be having some trouble waking up later at 6am. alright i better go now and sleep. nites.. and Happy Chinese New Year again..

WATER DOG Horoscope
Jan 28, 1922 to Feb 15, 1923
Jan 25, 1982 to Feb 12, 1983

Dog people are loyal and honest and obedient, guardians of the house at night. They can be counted on to keep secrets and for always doing the right thing. They can be emotionally distant and do not mix well in social gatherings where they are often seen as wallflowers. They do better with one-on-one relationships and find happiness in the happiness they bring to others, such as finding the most perfect gifts for their friends. While it is true that they have sharp tongues and are a bit stubborn and eccentric, in a work situation they tend to work very well with other people. What is more, they always seem to have money and make excellent leaders. Because of their high moral stance, they are inspiring beyond measure.

Sizzling Rice Soup and Chinese Cabbage are among the keys to good health!!

Water Dogs are real charmers, easily attracting friends and colleagues into their inner circle. Handling the ins and outs of human relations is so easy for them! They know how to smooth over any personal situation with their kind, honest, easy-going nature. Always empathetic, always rational, their ability to play Devil's Advocate helps open up whole new ways of approaching problems and finding solutions. Their views on life are expansive because of an ingrained wanderlust which has taken and will continue to take them to exotic locales about the globe. They adapt like chameleons to new environments and new people and their lives are all-encompassing, full of rich adventure. Financial and career success comes to the Water Dogs later in life -- just watch these late bloomers burst open! Regarding their love life, when it comes to dating and romance, their temperature ranges from hot to cold, from one extreme to another. Sometimes they want a commitment, other times they run Geronimo. But, when true love finally comes, and it will, they have it made. Their relationships are filled with good honest communication and genuine kindness and total caring for their partner. Marriage will be as firm as the Rock of Gibraltar.

Click here to learn about your Chinese Zodiac

A relaxed MIND;
A peaceful SOUL;
A joyful SPIRIT;
A healthy BODY;
A HEART full of love;
And a POCKET always full of cash...
THESE are my sincere wishes for everyone this CHINESE NEW YEAR!
Gong Xi Fa Chai and may 2005 be your best year yet...

aiks i'm at home. not going out today. Tracy did not call or anything, and when i called her, there's no answer. so i suppose she's busy. it's alright, new year without new clothes. totally fine for me, but not for my parents i guess.

my face is getting better, so do my lips. but lips are still rough and feel so dry. hate this allergic reaction. i still cough like a Grandma. can't eat mandarin oranges at all, no cold drinks as well. sucks... i want to get well soon, real soon. don't want to miss all the nice CNY goodies. i want to drink coffee real bad. haven't been drinking coffee for days, since i was sick. i love coffee. can't wait to get well soon and indulge myself with a nice cup of coffee. *wink..

i feel so weak. my throat is feeling better but i started to cough like a Grandma. lost my voice yesterday. sigh.. my face is still rough like a sandpaper but i think my lips are getting better because i can see some skins are peeling now. it's a good sign i suppose, meaning they're renewing the skins but i still feel the discomfort.

hope i'll get better tomorrow. decided to do last minute shopping with Tracy. she just came back from Malacca yesterday night for CNY. Mum's urging me to get at least a new top for CNY. well i'll try my best to get one if my condition is good enough to allow me to go out tomorrow.

went to the clinic yesterday. i went in for only 3 minutes. that's fast but not as fast as the person before me, she went in for only 2 minutes. yes i'm too free that i actually timed the time taken to consult the doctor. the doctor gave me 5 different type of medicines - 3 in tablets form for my allergy, flu and fever (yes i developed fever yesterday too), 1 row of lozenges for my throat and cream for my face and lips. it's a real torture to get sick and having this allergic reaction on my face and lips. i can't really talk much and can't really laugh a lot because it feels so uncomfy and kinda hurts. face started to itch too. more tiny bumps popping out on my lips today and my face feels like a sandpaper. urghh...annoying.. when i told my Dad that i wanted to go to the clinic because of the allergic reaction caused by the facial, he burst out laughing. yes my Dad was laughing at me. that's my Dad, he's a really funny guy although he looks damn serious.

not going out today. all plans are canceled. stay at home and suffer...

NO MORE FACIAL WITH CLINIQUE!! even if i'm going to have one in the future, i'm going to tell them not to simply put stuff on my face. the allergy/rash on my lips seems to be spreading and it's getting worse today. there are rough tiny white bumps on my lips and around the outer lips as well. it's not itchy at all but my lips are inflamed. i've had that kind of reaction before, and that was like...3 or 4 years ago. my face tends to be sensitive to certain products. i was a frequent visitor to the clinic last time because of the allergy. and now it's happening again. DARN!! this means i will not be able to go out tomorrow. i'm suppose to meet up with a friend during the noon, and will be meeting up with Nikki and the others during the night. it's been a while since we last met but now i don't think i'll be able to go. how can i go out with swollen lips?? ewww...looks like hotdog lips. besides, i think i'm falling sick. i woke up with a sore throat and flu. bummer..

You Are 20 Years Old

20 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

yesterday's facial was great. it's so relaxing but somehow i did not feel comfortable. everyone there was quite surprised to know that that was my first time for facial. i was like..is there anything wrong with that? i mean what's so wrong with the "first time"? overall i spent RM220 like i've expected, an eye cream and my facial cleanser. RM220 for an eye cream, a facial cleanser, a free bag and free facial - not bad, right? i also had my brows trimmed but they're not as nice as the one i had them done 1 1/2 years ago at the SK-II counter. all in all, i'm quite happy and satisfied. however when i woke up this morning, my lips are slightly swollen, and it's quite painful. i also noticed a few pimples break out on my face. arghh...guess some of the products used for the facial weren't suitable for my skin. bummer..

headed home straight after the facial. the weather was scorching hot that my face was so oily and i sweated like crazy. yucks.. then i had lunch with Mum at a coffee shop in Klang while waiting to fetch bro from the KTM station later. there was this man in the coffee shop, he kept talking and talking and his voice was so loud. i couldn't really get what he was talking about but he's damn noisy. headaches.. after fetching bro from the station, we headed back home and Mum wanted to go to Pasar Malam, which i think they should rename it to Pasar Petang. so i accompanied her there. i've never been to a Pasar Malam for almost 2 years. it's so crowded and under the scorching hot sun, people started sweating and you touch me, i touch you..ewww.. don't like to go there.

Mum is baking pineapple tarts today which does not require my help at all. so i cleaned my room and wiped my white but no totally white sneakers. couldn't seem to get rid of the stubborn stains at first. then i added some bleach to the water and voila...nice and clean. but doesn't look brandnew though. it's ok as long as it's clean. washed the aquarium, my last fish died. opss...sorry. one of them suffocated to death, i think a month ago due to the power failure. we have the air pump but it did not survived anyhow. the other one survived but it was swimming upside down all these while until this morning, it left the world.

i'm going to pamper myself tomorrow. i've made an appointment for a free facial, brow trimming and hand massage. yes i mentioned "FREE" but it's not really free. i need to purchase RM120 worth of their products and then only will i be getting free facial. it's like a bonus for me because my facial cleanser is finishing soon and free brow trimming, meaning i get to trim my bushy eyebrows. the problem is, i do not know what should i buy. yes i wanted to get my facial cleanser, but that only cost RM95. i wanted to get the eye cream which cost RM125 as well. if i get both, i need to fork out RM220. well where can i get the money when i'm not earning any cash yet? i told my Mum about this and she's willing to lend me the money. yeah..


Nice watch by DKNY.

found this watch that i loved, i think 2 years ago. well i still like it, and i would love to get it if possible although it's sort of outdated already.

arghh..this seriously is driving me crazy. i lost one of my favourite top. how can that be?!! i've searched everywhere in the house, including my Mum's wardrobe and brother's. I'VE SEARCHED EVERYWHERE but that top is still unseen. i love that top so much and i wore it very often, but now it's gone. gone gone gone. seriously how can that be? told my Mum about it and she even tried looking for me. well that top is lost for almost a month or more. i was trying to look for it again just now but it is still in the mood to play hide-and-seek with me. come out come out wherever you are, please.. i really love "you" so much. come out please.. already i do not have many clothes and now this favourite top of mine is missing. isn't that annoying??!!

imagine a person smelling like biscuits and sweat - yucks. a bad combination. that's how i smell like now. was helping Mum doing CNY biscuits the whole day and am taking a short break now. couldn't resist the temptation to go online and check my mails. and since i'm already facing the pc, might as well just blog a little. the weather is extremely hot, plus we're baking so it's even hotter. Mum bakes a lot of biscuits this year, her friends wanted to buy biscuits from her because Mum bakes nice biscuits. plus Mum gives biscuits to relatives every year during CNY. so a lot to make. was baking the almond chocolate biscuits yesterday, a friend of Mum wanted 8 tins today. so we were doing it until 3am. terrible... alright time is up. gtg help Mum again. adios..

What's great about good mates?
Friends can always be relied on to:

provide a shoulder to cry on.

take your fears and upsets seriously and offer appropriate advice.

feed your self-esteem with comments about how you're intelligent, attractive or deserving of better treatment.

make you feel special on occasions like birthdays.

provide real-life role models, teaching you how to be a better person, co-worker or friend.

rescue you from Star Wars-obsessed nuts you get stuck talking to at parties.

not even notice that your skin looks blotchy without make-up.

help you shop for hats when your new haircut is a disaster.

enthusiastically coo "I love that film" when you suggest hiring Bridget Jones's Diary on video again.

Friendship is more likely to go the distance if you hang out with pals who:

listen as well as talk.

respect other people's opinions.

take the initiative in keeping in touch.

have a positive attitude to life.

can be intimate without being indiscreet.

have a moral code similar to yours.

If he is the first thing you think of when you wake up,
The only thing you think of when you're awake,
And the last thing you think of when you go to sleep,
Then he is really something special♡.

Wanting him is Hard to Get,
Loving him is Hard to Regret,
Losing him is Hard to Accept,
But of All the Hurt I've felt,
Letting go is Most Painful Yet.

Never give up if you still wanna try,
Never wipe your tears if you still wanna cry,
Never settle for the answer if you still wanna know,
Never say you don't love him if you can't let him go!

it's so sad to know that i'm the only one left in the "Unemployed Society" among all my friends. such a loser. well there's still no news regarding the jobs i applied for and interviewed. so frustrating. no news from job B at all, and i'll take that as i'm rejected. the job that i went for the interview the other day, which according to my friend that the chances are quite high, seems to be not true enough. no news no news no news. it's already 2 weeks and... ah bummer...

i always have the thought to do something that i can't do - to be involved in the entertainment industry. something i wanted to do which i can't do. a singer? nah..i can't sing. act? i can't act, no skills. spokesperson? bla bla bla...whatever. just dream on. live in my own fantasy..

CNY is just around the corner and i notice that i haven't got any new clothes yet. this is the ONE thing i dislike about CNY - getting new clothes. for most gals, shopping seem to be their favourite but not for me. maybe i'm weird but i call myself different. i can't say that i dislike shopping, i love it but i'm not a shopaholic, i'm more like a window-shopper. i have the least clothes among all the gal friends i know. i have the least clothes among all my flatmates (6 guys and 1 gal) when i was in London. even shoes, gals tend to have at least 10 pairs of shoes, but i only have 2 pairs of high heels which i seldom wear them and 2 pairs of sneakers. what about skirts? i only have 2 dresses, a knee length skirt and a miniskirt. i prefer wearing pants especially jeans because it's so comfy and i can just jump around without worrying about...you know. a more funky and casual type of gal rather than elegant and girlish.

so why do i love shopping but dislike buying clothes? let me see...
1. maybe it's because i'm not working yet so i do not have the money to buy clothes, let it be cheap or expensive, no money means nothing..
2. i'm very very choosy with the designs and colours. i'm not trying to say that i have a high taste in fashion. i don't, i know i don't. that's why i always ended up with nothing when i go shopping and just look at the amount of clothes i have for now.
3. it's hard to find clothes that fit me. i don't think i'm too thin but it's hard to find clothes that fit me. sometimes even size "S" and "XS" couldn't fit me. what the heck?! "XS", isn't that extra small?? how can that be too big for me?!
4. adding the first, second and the third point frustrates me a lot and i got fed up. i don't think it's necessary to have so many clothes when people can never finish wearing all the clothes they have, and that sometimes people don't wear them and chuck them aside (what a waste of money).

ok i might be saying all the bad stuff now but maybe i'll be like most gals that shop till they drop in the future. maybe i'll turn to be a shopaholic once i started working and earning money. who knows.. but no matter what, i still need to shop for new clothes for CNY. it's a MUST according to parents. i'm force to do it so i have to do it.

itchy hands i have. i cut my own hair today and now i look like an 'aunty'. couldn't believe that i actually cut my hair that short this time. ok obviously when i said "this time" it shows that this is not the first time i cut my own hair. believe it my friend, i actually cut my own hair several times before. how silly...

finally i'm going to say a little about the Penang trip. i'll make it really short because i'm soooo lazy. the trip to Penang was great, but the weather was so hot, i felt like a burning pig under the hot sun. there's nothing much to do in Penang except going to temples and temples and temples (besides eating of course). so we went to the Burmese Temple, Thai Buddhist Temple and Kek Lok Si Temple. i can actually feel the holiness in me after visiting 3 temples in a day. amazing...
a visit to Batu Ferringhi made the trip worthwhile. that’s my favourite place to be. we were in Grand Plaza Parkroyal and everything there is incredibly beautiful. it was so nice that we went back to the same place again the next day before leaving back to Klang. we were staying in Lee San’s uncle’s house. nice garden he has, with a slight touch of Balinese concept. thanks for the hospitality, Uncle.

some pictures...


Penang bridge


Burmese Temple


Thai Buddhist Temple


Sacred turtle pond


Lanterns....lots of them


Kek Lok Si Temple - The Pagoda


Bronze statue of Goddess of Mercy/Kuan Yin














Grand Plaza Parkroyal





Batu Ferringhi


We found this, don't know what's that




















Uncle's nice garden

"cause you're leaving on a jet plane, don't know when you'll be back again..."
Lee San is going back to Canada soon, real soon, as in few hours time. so fast...she's back for like 3 weeks but it's as if she's back for only a week. oh i'm going to miss her again. and now that she's leaving, i'll be going back to my same old, boring, pathetic life again.

everyone is working now except for me. me, myself and i. Nikki found a job already, some advertising job i think, and she's going to work in ACP Asia Pte Ltd, the company that publishes Cleo and Women's Weekly. that's so nice. Hong Chiang is working too, as an IT Trainee. 3 of us were jobless last year, and now i'm the only one left, holding the title "Jobless" all by myself. lazy lazy lazy me. hopeless, useless, worthless me.

*Lee San, have a safe journey, enjoy your flight and take care. hope to see you again soon*

it's sad to know that i'm not one of the shortlisted candidates for job A, and it's even sadder to know that there is still no news or call regarding job B. for God sake, i couldn't just sit at home and wait for them for the whole year. so i went for another interview just now, which was recommended by a friend. i do not think that i did well just now, but according to my friend, she said that the chances for me to be taken is quite high. let's hope that it's true.

surprisingly, Mum did not mention anything about yesterday. i don't know why. it's good though but somehow it feels weird. guess she thinks that i'm old enough to do whatever i want. phew...

yesterday was Karolina's last night in Malaysia, so we went to Bar Flam in Bangsar. it started out pretty well, the bartender was very nice, Nikki and i called him as Mr.Muscular. good songs, good crowd, when suddenly Lee San and her friends were out of sight, missing in action. they were sitting outside, having an emergency talk. then i was tipsy and it started to be a bad night. i puked for freaking 3 times. man i'm such a terrible drinker. the last time i puked was at home. and how lucky i was, my Mum heard me puking. i know i'll be getting some scolding from her later when she's back, well she's out when i woke up. gosh..


Mr.Muscular - Nice fella

i'm getting lazier and lazier these days. so lazy to blog but i'm trying to force myself to write something here. Lee San's back and that's why i'm always out. her friend from Poland came to Malaysia for holiday and we've been out to places. just got back from Penang yesterday and i'm going to Genting tomorrow till Sunday, and to Malacca on Monday. it is indeed a busy week. i'm tired and exhausted and freaking broke, but i'm happy and it's nice to be out with friends.

i wanted to talk about my trip but i'm just too lazy. going out again soon, so i'm here just to blog a little. anyway i'll just stop right here. might blog about my trip next time, when i'm free.

yesterday was a terribly exhausting day. was walking around KL the whole day, as if i'm a tourist myself. went to the US Embassy, KLCC, KL Tower, Bintang Walk and China Town. can't talk much about it now coz i still have some packing to do; i'm going to Penang. leaving very soon and i'm not done with my packing yet. so why am i here?? no idea.. ok going to continue my packing now.. i hope i have a lot to say when i'm back from the trip.

here are some pics taken..





Petronas Twin Towers


KLCC/Petronas Twin Towers


The view from KL Tower


Nice rooftop


KL Tower

oh it's already a brand new year. Happy New Year. hello 2005, bye 2004. couldn't believe that it's already 2005. time flies... New Year resolutions? none..coz i'm too lazy to make one and i knew that i'll break all the resolutions i'm going to make. so better don't make any.

so restless and exhausted lately. i've been out almost every single day since Lee San was back from Canada. this means, i'm spending more and more while i'm earning nothing. my balance in my account is reaching negative. Mum is going to kill me if she finds out.

i can't remember what i wanted to say. my brain is stuck, still sleeping. there are a lot of things i wanted to say but i couldn't remember. so i'll just stop here then.

Happy New Year to everyone!!