it has been exactly 2 weeks since my bestie friend and i had an argument. 2 weeks of silence, no sms-es, no calls, no messages, NOTHING. recovery should be done quick if we wanted this friendship to last. but i don't think she's going to take the first action, so am i. i know we're both wrong. there's this saying, "when there is an argument, no one can say whether one is right or wrong. both parties are wrong. the one who is right is the one who apologize first". however, this time, i do not want to be the one who's right. i'm tired of making the apology first everytime. being stubborn will not bring me anywhere, but i'll just stick to it and wait. sad to say, i'm having this strong instinct telling me that she's willing to let go of this friendship. hope that i'm wrong.

there are too many bad things happening lately. last month, a friend's friend past away due to cancer. 2 weeks ago, i had a huge argument with my best friend. then, another friend's friend past away. then Sam's cars were hit by a drunk driver. last week Karen was admitted to the hospital due to appendicitis. the very next day i accidently tripped and fell, had minor injuries of course. and yesterday, i accidently (don't even know how) sprain my lower back. it's aching badly and the pain causes my entire body to ache as well and i'm developing fever due to that. i hope it'll gets better as i do not want to get MC. but if it never gets any better, i think i should see the doctor soon. lets pray that August will be a start to better days.

it was supposed to be a fun night out, but in the end, it turned out to be a nightmare, a disaster. an incident that i have never ever thought that it could have happened to me, an incident that i know will haunt me forever, an incident that i wish it was just a dream. i had my first and worst argument with my best friend, a friend whom i've known for years. she used to be a part of me, and now it seems like she's slowly slipping away. we've known each other for years, we've shared our ups and downs together, sadness and laughter, we've had misunderstandings, disagreements but we've never had an argument, not until today; our first and largest one ever.

shits happened that night, lots of factors contributed to the start of the bitter argument, it's too long of a story. then i've been thinking, what triggered her emotion that causes her to lose her temper just like that, all of a sudden as i've NEVER seen her acting like that before. i tried to listen and keep my mouth shut because i do not want to make things worst, but i have my limits too. in the end, i kinda lost my patience and tolerance, that i couldn't take her shouting and blaming any longer and that's when i burst out as well. i couldn't take it already, that it's as if EVERYTIME and EVERYTHING was my fault and she's being unreasonable and ridiculous. it was HORRENDOUS.

i do wish that it is just a dream, that when i wake up from the dream, everything is back to normal again, as if nothing has happened. but as i woke up and opened my eyes, i know that everything is real and i'm still in disbelief. i have to accept the fact that it does happened. time is all i need to heal the wound. whatever it is, i know that our so-called lifetime friendship will never be the same again, and it never will. i'm losing my very one and true best friend. it's indescribable. i'll never forget 15th July 2007.

"Wong, i'm extremely sorry for getting you into this and please don't feel bad and start blaming on yourself because it's not your fault. i'm so embarrass that you and the guys have to see all these. thank you so much for the concern and words of encouragement. and Andy Wong, thanks for the call and concern. all the best to you in Beijing."

bro has left for Denmark to work yesterday evening. it was sad that i couldn't send him off. however, i'll be seeing him in August, he's coming back for his graduation. he was supposed to leave for Denmark around August but he got a call on Sunday telling him that he should be there soon. what a sudden notice. just so you know, he was supposed to be a pilot (his childhood dream) with Singapore Airlines after graduating with a degree in electrical engineering, but then he was offered a job in Denmark at the same time, that was like in November last year. "Dad" told him to take the job offer in Denmark as it is a very rare opportunity and that he shouldn't miss it. and so he chose to let go of his childhood dream.

it was indeed a very tough decision for him to make, and choosing to let go of his own childhood dream, it must be really hard for him and he must be really sad about it. and so, being a sis, i got him an aircraft model for his birthday. since he couldn't fulfil his dream to become a pilot, getting him an aircraft model is the least i can do. and i know, he loves it very much and i'm glad he does.





That Lego represents himself. cute..

[Source: pictures were taken by bro himself]

"although we've just got reunited, although i don't really know you well, you're really like a bro to me. somehow it feels like it, like you're part of the family (we really are family, in a way right?). it doesn't matter what you feel, as for me, you'll always be my notty bro, the notty Patrick and i'll always be the notty Spongebob. wishing you all the best and take care!!"

i've watched another movie, no it's not Transformers. was supposed to watch that but the tickets were all sold out. what a bummer! and so, we watched something else, and i LOVE it so much. Dead Silence that is. you scream, you DIEee...