never ever plan an outing. if you wanna go just go. DON'T PLAN. i'm not sure if it happens to others but it always happens to me, and i mean ALWAYS. everytime when my friends and i plan something, we are excited of course, especially me. but never once does the plan works. it will always end up with disappointment.

the plan for yesterday was a total screwed up. the plan was to have dinner with some mates and after dinner, we'll be heading to one of the club in town. it was supposed to be a great night but somehow planning an event is something i don't believe in (yet i'm still doing it all the time). i knew it will never work like what we've planned, and i actually sense that something will go wrong, very wrong. true enough, one by one started to call to say that they couldn't make it and bla bla bla. i was disappointed but what can i do. till the end, only 2 person could make it for dinner, and one of them was me.

since the plan was totally screwed up and dinner for 2 sounds so sad, i decided to call off the night. was at home sleeping until a friend called and asked me bout the night. she was so eager to know what's the plan like and she suggested that we should go to The Loft. i was shocked, she's the type that hardly ask her friends to club. since she's so interested to go and i've never been to The Loft, i decided to go out that night.

i managed to find 2 other friends to accompany me at TGI Friday's while waiting for this particular friend of mine to come. finally she came and she brought along a huge surprise with her. LEE SAN was back!! wow..i gave out 2 shouts when i saw her. the first was nothing, quite low but the second one was loud. that's when everyone in the restaurant started turning their heads and looked at us. i've been FOOLED! next we headed to The Loft and there i met a few friends. friends that i've never met for quite some time. one of them just got back from UK for holidays. he was someone i used to fancy. and i repeat, USED TO fancy.

anyhow, i'm glad that i've made the right choice to go out that night. happy to see Lee San again.

Natasha Bedingfield
I Bruise Easily

My skin is like a map
Of where my heart has been
And I can't hide the marks
It's not a negative thing
So I let down my guard
Drop my defenses down by my clothes
I'm learning to fall
With no safety net to cushion the blow

I bruise easily
So be gentle when you handle me
There’s a mark you leave
Like a love heart carved on a tree
I bruise easily
Can’t scratch the surface
Without moving me underneath
I bruise easily
I bruise easily

I found your fingerprints
On a glass of wine
Do you know you're leaving them
All over this heart of mine too
But if I never take this leap of faith
I'll never know
So I’m learning to fall
With no safety net to cushion the blow

I bruise easily
So be gentle when you handle me
There’s a mark you leave
Like a love heart carved on a tree
I bruise easily
Can’t scratch the surface
Without moving me underneath
I bruise easily
I bruise easily

Anyone who can touch you
Can hurt you or heal you
Anyone who can reach you
Can love you or leave you

So be gentle...

I bruise easily
So be gentle when you handle me
There’s a mark you leave
Like a love heart carved on a tree
I bruise easily
Can’t scratch the surface
Without moving me underneath
I bruise easily
I bruise easily

I bruise easily
I bruise easily

wrote this entry down on a piece of paper on the 22nd July 2005. was in Kota Kinabalu for business trip. here goes...

22 July - i'm in my room reading with the radio on, listening to mix.fm and it's 3:50am now. the radio is playing this song called "If You're Not The One" by Daniel Bedingfield. i'm not a fan of his, nor do i fancy this song. somehow i started to have this weird feeling lingering in my heart. it reminds me of the time when i was in London. i always heard this song on air on one of the radio stations in London when i was working in this clinic. the station is called London's Heart 106.2. they love playing this song over and over again for the whole day. guess i really miss the time i had. how nice if i can freeze the time when i was there with my mates. memories, something to be remembered...ALWAYS..

the decision i've made to go out for dinner with my colleagues yesterday is never a mistake. that night, we met a pilot, Captain Chris and we had dinner together. it was a great night, we had a great time talking, joking and laughing for hours. after dinner, the Capt and i spent another hour talking and i found that he's a really nice chap; understanding, smart, funny, caring. of course when i said that, it does not mean that i'm into him. i think he's old enough to be my Dad, he's probably around his 40s, yet age doesn't matter for us to be friends. but i really do like him as in i really enjoy the time we've had together that night and of course it would be great if we could just stay in touch and be close friends. an older and wiser man as a good friend? why not. and once again, i'm not into him please.