IF ONLY...

it's not that i do not appreciate my current job nor do i not enjoy it, but i guess it's time to seriously plan for my future. i have 2 choices in hand; job A or job B. both jobs are not base in Malaysia and both jobs are similarly good. IF ONLY my current job could be a lil' more promising, i would not have to squeeze the juice out of my brain just to figure which job to go for. i wouldn't even want to look for one at the very first place. IF ONLY my pay was enough for me to have my own saving (ya i have none even after working for 2 years. can you believe this?!), i would not even want to think about leaving the company (as for now la).

decisions, decisions, decisions... sometimes making a decision can be so easy that you can tell what you actually wanted without even have to think for a second. however, at times it can be so hard, you don't know which to choose, you think and think and think...your head feel so heavy, the pressure in your brain seems unbearable as if it's gonna explode, you feel like banging your head on the wall. that's the challenge in life. that's what that makes life so interesting and fun. but it's not that fun afterall. once you've made the decision, it can either be right or wrong. if it's right, then good for you. if not, you'll be shadowed with regrets and disappointment and bla bla bla...IF ONLY making a decision could be so easy, no one will ever make a mistake, and without making a mistake, no one will ever learn from the lesson. what a life.

bro has always been dreaming of becoming a pilot since he was a boy. he was then offered a job in Denmark and Dad told him to take the offer. he still dreams.. IF ONLY he wasn't offered the job in Denmark, he would have fulfilled his childhood dream of becoming a pilot. i was told before that i should try becoming a pilot by my bro of course and a couple of friends, but...IF ONLY it's that easy. IF ONLY i knew that a female can be a pilot too (i didn't know this until 2 years ago, i know i'm slow), i would have chose not to further my studies in UK but to use the money to take up flying course. IF ONLY...

IF ONLY i knew what i actually wanted in my life, i would not have to struggle now to sustain a promising future. now, my future looks so bleak.