i don't know what is in my mind again. i don't know what am i thinking. something is blinding me. something is blocking my ability to think. i'm doing the wrong thing again. i don't know how to stop it still. keep doing the wrong thing over and over again. no one can help me. no one except for me, myself and i. gosh, i hate this.

"when you said that you do like me, i wasn't convinced because you people are the same. you and your people always treat us, the gals like toys; you'll get excited and fun when it's new, you enjoy playing with it and when you're bored one day, you chuck it aside like a trash. but somehow, from all the things that you've said and done, you seem to be different compared to the others, which i hope i'm right...at least for this one time. i'm happy and flattered. you do make me feel so special and i enjoy feeling this way. i feel so lucky to be cared by you. seriously, i've never felt like this before towards someone, someone like you. but we both know, things will never work between us. it never will, will it? we're just SO different in everyway. you know what i mean? so why are we still doing this and go on? we'll both ended up hurting each other someday. or will it be just me, the only one who will feel the pain?

i wanna know, do you really mean everything that you've said? or do you actually said it just to catch my heart and attention? i wanna know, are you serious about all these? or are you doing it just to have fun and to fool around? i hope that you are different from your kind. i hope that you do not have the intention to treat me like a toy. if your intention is to treat me like a toy, please just stop and go away. leave me alone. i hope that you will never hurt me. please, have sympathy on my freaking soul..."