went to the room just now(Nikki's room) and i saw her sitting on the floor, leaning against the bedside. noticed her hands were holding some tissues, and when i looked at her, her eyes were red: she's crying. oh my God!! what should i do? what can i do? comfort her? i tried to, but she's talking to her Dad online. i don't know what to do, how to react. if i stay, i'll kinda disturb her talking to her Dad, i wanna give them some privacy. in the end, i chose to leave the room. she might think that i'm such a useless friend. well i guess i am. i really have no idea what to do. i feel so useless.

she's always been a very strong and tough person. that was the first time i seen her crying. of course i know how she feels. she's a very ambitious gal. she loves London so much and is desperate to get a working permit so that she can work and stay here longer. she's been doing so much stuff for the company she has been working for and suddenly they just fired her. all her plans and dreams were crushed, crushed by those stupid idiots who do not know how to appreciate her. now she has to start all over again, and it's not that easy. that's life, full with obstacles and unexpected future.

i don't know what is waiting for me in the future, i don't know what will i be doing and i don't know how would my future be. i wanted to stay in London and work here too, but things are never that easy, especially for a person like me, so useless and lazy.

Mum called me just now, she's worried, afraid that something might had happened to me. she hasn't seen me online for the past few days. it's not me who doesn't wanna go online, i just can't. Nikki stops going to work after she got the termination letter and now that she's at home, she'll be using the laptop more often. all i can do is to sit and wait for my turn. i've been sitting in the lounge from noon till evening, looking around the lounge, listening to some musics and i even fell asleep. there's nothing nice showing on tv in the noon and there's nothing else i can do. dead boring..