"don’t you think that we should stop now, before we fall any deeper and ended up having hard time letting go by then? we both know that it’s hard to let go now (or is it just me), since we’ve already chose to start it. but it’ll be much harder later.

of all the gals in the world, why must you choose me to be your victim? from the start i know that i shouldn’t have let you in to my life. but i wasn’t strong enough, i let you in. i should have been strong, but i’m weak. now that you never choose to go, i’m suppose to be very happy. but confusion strikes. i’m living in confusion, frustration and heartache. you see through me. you know that part of me wanted you to stay, and you know that the bigger part of me wanted you to go. my heart aches every time i think about this. now that i’ve let you in, you do bring joy to my life but you brought pain along as well. i already have trouble bearing the pain now. imagine how hard will it be for me to bear the pain and the lost later? it’s disturbing. therefore, it’s better if i choose to let you go now. it’ll be easier too. yet i’m selfish, i wanted you to be around me. perhaps you showed up at the right time. i was sad and lonely, and you came in. and you assured me that everything will be good and it's worth giving it a try. but i’m lost and doom now. should i go on with this; relax, enjoy and have fun and worry later, or should i worry about the consequences now and just end it quick? please...tell me."

yes, life is short and i’m messing it up.