here goes, a picture of Nikki's tattoo.



i told you before that this is like an addiction. yup, Nikki Mah has a new addiction now. she's already decided to get the next (second) tattoo done next year, around March. "bravo woman!!" and as for me, i think i can only get mine done if i'm to quit this job of mine. wait la, cakap je wanna quit, but don't even know when.

at last, they approved my leave. 5 days, from 2nd Dec to 6th Dec. but i'll be staying at home. -_-" not going anywhere, going to Australia no more. why? the flight is like full all the way, we are put in waiting list. but parents don't wanna take the risk so the whole holiday plan is cancelled, yet again. since we're not going to Australia, i might want to go to Singapore, visit some old friends. ya, guess i should plan on this.

Miss Nikki Mah had her body inked today.
"welcome to the club, Nikki. finally you had it done after years of deciding. wohooo..."
you know, i actually thought of following her to the tattoo parlour. but then i thought to myself, better not. i’m so afraid that if i were there with her, i could not resist the temptation to get another one inked on me. seriously, it’s like an addiction. once you’ve got yourself inked, you would love to get more than one. my target; at least 5, not more...hopefully. *fingers crossed* she’s going back there again 3 weeks later to see if she needs a touch-up. i’m so gonna follow her there, that is if i’m off. i don’t care if i ended up having one by then.

I WANT MY LEAVE BACK!!!

you know what really makes me angry? stupid and lazy people who don’t know how to work efficiently and smartly (not that i’m very good but at least i’m hell better than these people). see, i’m entitle for 21 days of annual leave this year and i have a backlog of 7 days annual leave from last year. my first leave application for this year was rejected and that was in September. i tried applying for the second time for December and guess what, it was rejected again. WTF MAN!! i’ve been thinking, it’s almost the end of the year and i’ve never taken even a day of leave. so why are these people rejecting my applications?! so the furious me went to the office to inquire about this and you know what, this lady whom i spoke to told me that they bought my annual leave together with my backlog leave, and they left me with a remaining of 5 days leave, which expire on 31st December 2007. WHAT THE CRAP??!! so you’re saying that i should be happy because i get extra $$$ from that? NO! i’m not. for crying out loud, i want my annual leave. i want to go holidaying. i don’t care if you take the money back, i want my annual leave. but no, the lady said that i can never return them the money because they’ve had the money banked into our account. CRAP!!

well, what i really don’t understand is how can they be so stupid? i mean come on, if i do not want my annual leave, then why am i sending you the leave applications at the very first place? (after the first application was rejected, i sent 2 more applications for December and for CNY next year). it does make sense, doesn’t it? if i don’t want the leave, then why am i applying them for? and since i’ve applied for December and CNY next year, why are you touching the leave i applied for and bought them all and left me with a pathetic 5 days? come on la, use some common sense and think. USE YOUR BRAIN PEOPLE. God gives you a brain to think. make full use of it please. so i told the lady that no matter what, i want that 5 days leave in December. my family and i planned to go to Australia for holiday in December. we were planning for it since June ok. the lady told me that it can be done, and she wants me to see her again a week later to remind her about it.

tadaa....a week later, i happily walked to the office and guess what she told me? she’s no longer in charge. company moved her to another division. \(@_@)/ ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!! i’m so freaking pissed that seriously, i feel like pulling out a rifle and shoot her. OMG!! *breathe breathe* she directed me to another lady and that lady told me that i’ll be able to know about the status of my leave application by 1st November. blardy hell, it’s already 14th November and the status is still pending. FUCK MAN!! you tell me, will you be angry about all these? so unsystematic leh. wanna go holiday also susah, wanna apply leave also susah. i’ve been working for them like mad dogs for the entire year, with NO LEAVE taken (not even 1 fucking day), NO MCs, and is this how i’ve been treated in return? SO FUCK!!

I can’t get you out of my mind. I keep thinking about how much I enjoy talking with you, how great you look when you smile, and how much I like your laugh. I daydream about you off and on all day, replaying pieces of our conversation...laughing again about funny things you said or did. I’ve memorized your face and the way you look at me...it melts my heart everytime I think about it. And I catch myself smiling when I imagine what will happen the next time we’re together. You must be something really special, because I can’t remember the last time I felt so strongly about someone. Even though neither of us knows what the future holds, I know one thing for sure – you’re one of the very best things that’s happened to me in a longtime.

[Source: from a greeting card]

Roxette
A Thing About You

I pick up the phone
I'm dialing your number
While I pray you're at home
At home and alone
'Cuz I can't function on my own
And I'll never stop believing...

The reaping is done
You are the one
The radio is on but the sound is all gone
And I wanna walk out in the sun
But lately that's been very hard to do

I've got a thing about you
And I don't really know what to do
'Cuz I've got a thing about you

I pick up the phone
I'm dialing that number
And my heart like a stone
Waits for the tone
Oh I can't make it on my own
And I'll never stop believing...

I know what is right and this is so wrong
Alone in my bed, better off on my own
The TV is on but the colors are gone
And lately you've been painting my world blue

I've got a thing about you
And I don't really care what you do
I've got a thing about you
Yeah, you...

YAY!!! it’s time to celebrate. so what are we celebrating? me, recovering from tonsillitis. hip hip hurray *jump for joy*. i think it’s getting better and it’ll be A-OK soon. Augmentin really works, though i did suffered from minor diarrhoea. bah.. so since i’m getting better, i started to crave for lotsa lotsa stuff. you know la, i have to jaga makan like kau kau for the past 2-3 weeks ok. a real torture indeed. so i’m craving for...
~deep fried food, especially McDonald's fried chicken and french fries...yum yum
~spicy food especially nasi lemak, chicken curry and asam laksa...wooooo
~cold drinks with lotsa lotsa ice...ahhhhh
~seafood - crabs, calamari, prawns...heaven
~coffee...depriving for one real badly
~ice cream...Haagen Dazs' tiramisu and green tea ice cream...OMG
*saliva drooling*

yesterday i finished all the medicines given by the doc but my right tonsil is still swollen with more whitish/yellowish thingy. creepy... and i started having trouble swallowing as it began to hurt real bad since yesterday morning. thus, i went back to the doc again this morning. since the previous 2 types of antibiotics she prescribed weren’t affective, she gave me another type of antibiotic which is more concentrated with higher dosage of amoxycillin and clavulanate potassium; it's called Augmentin. anyhow, since I’m so thin, she advised me to take half a tablet a day, twice a day with 12 hours gap in between. worst part was when she told me that MOST but not all (duh..) who took the pill will have diarrhoea. aijor jor...this is not good man. plus, that antibiotic is so expensive because it’s imported. 5 tablets for RM40. *suck blood*. but i don’t care about the price as long as it cures my tonsillitis.

Tonsillitis

since two weeks ago, i've been having this funny off and on sore throat, which i thought it's gonna be ok if i am to drink more water. well it did turned out to be ok AT FIRST. then last week, i felt funny whenever i tried swallowing my saliva, it's as if there's something at the back of my throat. and thus, i decided to look into the mirror and see what's inside. to my horror, i was (am still) in awe when i saw my right tonsil was swollen and red and there's white/yellowish thingy on it. grrrRRRR...so scary leh. and so, i started taking lozenges hoping that it'll get better but no, it got worse. i began to have trouble swallowing my saliva a few days later, as it hurts more from day to day and there's more phlegm and it's painful la.

on Monday i decided to visit my company's panel clinic near my place after work, as the whole thing is scaring me more and more. and why i chose that panel clinic? because ONE)it's one of the two panel clinics around my area. i've been to the other one and it's no good, therefore i decided to try this one. TWO)it's FREE ma. BUT, it is going to be my FIRST AND LAST time visiting the clinic because....ONE)the nurse/reception lady is super rude - she never made any eye contact whenever she talks. the way she talks is as if she is totally not happy working there and is extremely rude. TWO)she's so SO SO LAZY, it's like after the consultation i need to collect my medication, she just pushed all the medicines to me and handed me a plastic bag, telling me to put everything into the plastic bag myself, in short it means self service. WTF!!! THREE)the doctor doesn't look like a doctor at all. his desk is SO SIMPLE, i've never seen a doctor's desk like his. serious, it's like he only has a few files on the desk, no pc (pc is on this other table behind him), he only has a stethoscope and no blood pressure cuff, and there's a beaker with disgusting yellow water (i'm sure it's for sterilization) with a thermometer and metal tongue depressor in it. seriously, it looks disgusting and so unhygenic. FOUR)the doctor doesn't seems to be very professional. he consulted me for LESS THAN 2 MINUTE. YES!! i'm for real. i went in, told him about my condition. he asked if i have fever, i said no. next, he took his flashlight, looked into my mouth then started writing something on the medical card. then i guess he must be wondering why was i still there, he stopped writing and looked at me and said, "OK". huh?? what do you mean by "OK"??! so i asked, "Done?", he said yes. WTF MAN!! so fast?? fine. he didn't even bother explaining what's wrong with me. bah, so i walked out and promised never to return again.

i didn't take the medication given by the 'paria' doctor. instead, i went to consult my family's doctor. and i finally got to know what's wrong with me. i have tonsillitis. the doctor gave me 2 types of antibiotics and i have to 'jaga makan'. =( no seafood, no cold drinks, no ice cream, no fried food... eat congee all day?? canot la...

it's her birthday today. it took me quite some time to forget about the feud between us and finally, i sent her a text wishing her a happy birthday. i mean after all, she was a best friend and she still is a friend. it's been what...around 2 months and 3 weeks since the incident happened? and there's not even a word nor a text from her. but me sending her a text wishing her a happy birthday; does that makes me the winner or the loser now?

this year's Mooncake Festival was the saddest one ever. i think it will keep going like this for all the years ahead, for me. =( i remember how eager my siblings and i are looking forward to this festival every year since we were younger. we'll light lotsa lotsa lanterns and our house looks incredibly bright and beautiful. we'll have mooncakes and teas and jump for joy. it's simply fun. it's different this year. my schedule was so hectic, i wasn't given a chance to light even a lantern at home, as in Klang's home. so i brought 2 lanterns and some candles along to the house in Bukit Jalil. still have the spirit to light lanterns even being alone. not bad eh? never had any mooncakes either, not until after the Mooncake Festival, that was yesterday. sigh...



it was somewhere around last week when Nikki, jie and i had Carl's Jr.. i remembered how bro used to tell me that i should try Carl's Jr. someday when i got the chance. it was mine and jie's first time having Carl's Jr. and let me tell you something, first time is always the best. agree? once we were there, GOD!! we were spoilt with so many choices to choose from. spent some hard time deciding what to have and in the end, jie and Nikki both had the Double Western Bacon Cheeseburger, while i had the Charbroiled Chicken Club Sandwich. the portion was huge and they're very generous with the fillings. trust me, you will be sated. besides, drinks are refillable, thus the hefty price. so stop comparing..

i don't know what is in my mind again. i don't know what am i thinking. something is blinding me. something is blocking my ability to think. i'm doing the wrong thing again. i don't know how to stop it still. keep doing the wrong thing over and over again. no one can help me. no one except for me, myself and i. gosh, i hate this.

"when you said that you do like me, i wasn't convinced because you people are the same. you and your people always treat us, the gals like toys; you'll get excited and fun when it's new, you enjoy playing with it and when you're bored one day, you chuck it aside like a trash. but somehow, from all the things that you've said and done, you seem to be different compared to the others, which i hope i'm right...at least for this one time. i'm happy and flattered. you do make me feel so special and i enjoy feeling this way. i feel so lucky to be cared by you. seriously, i've never felt like this before towards someone, someone like you. but we both know, things will never work between us. it never will, will it? we're just SO different in everyway. you know what i mean? so why are we still doing this and go on? we'll both ended up hurting each other someday. or will it be just me, the only one who will feel the pain?

i wanna know, do you really mean everything that you've said? or do you actually said it just to catch my heart and attention? i wanna know, are you serious about all these? or are you doing it just to have fun and to fool around? i hope that you are different from your kind. i hope that you do not have the intention to treat me like a toy. if your intention is to treat me like a toy, please just stop and go away. leave me alone. i hope that you will never hurt me. please, have sympathy on my freaking soul..."

IF ONLY...

it's not that i do not appreciate my current job nor do i not enjoy it, but i guess it's time to seriously plan for my future. i have 2 choices in hand; job A or job B. both jobs are not base in Malaysia and both jobs are similarly good. IF ONLY my current job could be a lil' more promising, i would not have to squeeze the juice out of my brain just to figure which job to go for. i wouldn't even want to look for one at the very first place. IF ONLY my pay was enough for me to have my own saving (ya i have none even after working for 2 years. can you believe this?!), i would not even want to think about leaving the company (as for now la).

decisions, decisions, decisions... sometimes making a decision can be so easy that you can tell what you actually wanted without even have to think for a second. however, at times it can be so hard, you don't know which to choose, you think and think and think...your head feel so heavy, the pressure in your brain seems unbearable as if it's gonna explode, you feel like banging your head on the wall. that's the challenge in life. that's what that makes life so interesting and fun. but it's not that fun afterall. once you've made the decision, it can either be right or wrong. if it's right, then good for you. if not, you'll be shadowed with regrets and disappointment and bla bla bla...IF ONLY making a decision could be so easy, no one will ever make a mistake, and without making a mistake, no one will ever learn from the lesson. what a life.

bro has always been dreaming of becoming a pilot since he was a boy. he was then offered a job in Denmark and Dad told him to take the offer. he still dreams.. IF ONLY he wasn't offered the job in Denmark, he would have fulfilled his childhood dream of becoming a pilot. i was told before that i should try becoming a pilot by my bro of course and a couple of friends, but...IF ONLY it's that easy. IF ONLY i knew that a female can be a pilot too (i didn't know this until 2 years ago, i know i'm slow), i would have chose not to further my studies in UK but to use the money to take up flying course. IF ONLY...

IF ONLY i knew what i actually wanted in my life, i would not have to struggle now to sustain a promising future. now, my future looks so bleak.

there are so many things to do yet so little time. can't even decide which one comes first as everything seems similarly important. life has never been better. still leading the same old boring life. i think some of the cells in my brain are dying. can't seems to remember much lately, been so forgetful. memory is getting bad. can never deny the fact that i'm getting old, but never wiser.

thought of quitting this job of mine. but don't even know what can i do if i'm to quit this seems-to-be-the-best-job-in-the-world, as quoted by a huge number of the colleagues. the degree that i once owned has been left aside like a piece of junk paper. never make a good use out of it. how sad.. i'd wasted so much time, effort and money just to pursue a degree, and now look where my degree and i ended up at....NO WHERE. imagine how disappointed could my parents be, especially my Dad.

"sorry for letting you guys down".

few weeks ago, i accidently sprained my lower back and developed a fever. today, i sprained my shoulder's muscles, tendons, veins or wateva it is and it hurts badly. DAMN! i hope Yoko Yoko will help this time coz i'm having minor fever now. it's either i slept on the wrong side or it's a sign that i've been working way too much. first time ever, i think i seriously need a massage real badly.

just so you know, i'm not the kind who fancies stupid things like massage, manicure and pedicure, visiting the salon twice every month to get your hair style and up-to-date, buying the must have shoes and bags and clothes of the season and yadda yadda yadda. some say that i do not know how to pamper myself nor enjoy my life, but i would say that i do not want to spoil myself. well different people have different doings and different taste on what they like and dislike. doing none of the above doesn't proof nor show that i do not know how to enjoy my life, neither do i not know how to pamper or reward myself. i think one should just do it moderately and not massively unless you're loaded with $$$. unlike me, i'm a poor fuck with more important things to spend on with my hard-earned money. i do not have the money to spend on massage or manicure and pedicure which i think is unnecessary for now. a gal who dislikes massage, manicure and pedicure, shopping...weird eh? no this is what i call SPECIAL. different in my own way. =)

SERIOUSLY I NEED A BREAK!! I WANT TO GO HOLIDAYING!!!

i was assigned to go to Beijing on Merdeka's day by my company for a 2 days trip. it was indeed a very short and tiring one. touched down at Beijing International Airport at around 3:10pm and my flight back to KL was in the morning on the following day. the actual plan was to stay in the hotel. but how can i not call my friend out when i actually have a friend in Beijing? i mean you don't always get this; having friends in different part of the world. so i text Andy Wong who's in Beijing (he came here 2 months ago to work), and thus he brought me and another friend out 'kai kai'.

we came along this street called Gourmet Street along WangFuJing Street. OMG...you can find all sorts of exotic food there; maggots, scorpions, seahorse, even starfish, all skewered nicely with a skewer. they have different kinds of meat skewer; from beef, to pork, to lamb, cow's and pig's 'spare part', even dog meat. \(@_@)/ choose wateva you like and they'll barbeque them nicely for you. *blek* seriously i can throw up if i'm to stay there longer, the smell....really disgusting. all the stalls are selling the same thing. yucks... went to another street, OMG..saw the same thing again. we tried the 'fried fresh milk with condensed milk'. tasteless, they should put more condensed milk.

had our dinner in a restaurant in a mall along WangFuJing Street. the mall is something like our KLCC, where you can find top designers labels. went into Coach to check out my bags. =D so nice leh...but no money to buy. we then had Haagen-Dazs for dessert before heading back to hotel and sleep. my fren and i each bought a box of peaches for RMB25, that's approximately RM12. there are approx 23 huge peaches in a box. super cheap right?

although i'm a BANANA, i can speak Mandarin quite fluently, with the Beijing accent if you want me to. seriously, people will think that i'm from Beijing if i'm to speak to them. Awong can never stop laughing when i speak in Mandarin with the Beijing accent. STOP LAUGHING WEI!! even my family especially my Mum will laugh too. 'wo hui jiang hua yu, ke shi wo bu shi Beijing ren'. ka KA KA...siao already.

"Awong, thanks for bringing us out 'kai kai' and spending time with us. and i know, you must be very happy because i'm your first friend from Malaysia to visit you in Beijing. hehe... take care."





\(@_@)/





Chinese opera. so high up wei, neck pain la like that.


So big eh, slightly bigger than DKNY BE DELICIOUS 100ml.

i'm in love. ♡ i'm so in love with these handbags by Coach. >.<



i'm not the kind of gal that goes for designers stuff, yet it'll be GREAT if i can own one, at least ONE. genuine one of course, not fake one. please..i would rather not own one than getting a fake one. as for now, i'll just dream about it. what can i do? i'm a poor fuck. i can never even afford to possess a Guess bag, what more a Coach. you know, the most branded bag i have in possession now is one by MNG. got it when i was in London for a whooping £5. yup, it's a steal. oh and i adore this bracelet by Montblanc.



who's willing to buy them all one for me?? i promise i'll love you forever. -_-! *bite lip and eye-rollin'*

~Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting~ - Dixie Chicks

you know what, i think i'm ready to let go of this long friendship of mine with my best friend. i don't see the point that we should patch things up since she's ready to let go of this friendship too. yeah, it's sad indeed. but even if we've saved this friendship, it WILL never be the same. it will be awkward, weird and simply different. having to secure such a long friendship with someone who's so close to you for years, someone who used to be a part of yourself, and then in a minute, it all just went pfft like that, well it's hard. yet life goes on. there's no point agonizing about something that brings us nowhere (although it's worth agonizing about it for the first few weeks). as for now, i don't wanna care about anything else but to go on with my life (hopefully i can). life is just too short for me to waste time in this. i was told that life is just so unpredictable. yes it's true. and i was told to enjoy every second in life and do whatever that makes me happy. so i'm trying to not to grieve about this too much since it'll bring me to nowhere. i'll learn to accept it and go on with my life. perhaps this is what God wanted it to be, perhaps it's a learning path that God has created. i think...it's the end of it. take care, my good old friend..

"sorry guys for being sandwiched in between us two. i know it's very hard for you people, but...sorry."

lately the weather has gone crazy and everyone is falling sick. so was i. i was sick from 27th July (my off day ar) for 1 whole week. INSANE!! but the i-think-i'm-a-superwoman ME did not go to the doctor because i thought it's nothing big. it first started with the pain i had on my back. i think i accidently sprained my back when i sneezed. so 'keng' right? i tried using Yoko Yoko but it did not work. it then developed into fever due to the pain and i kinda lost my appetite too. =(

on the 30th July, i had to force myself up and go to work with all the pain and headache i had. it's torturing but luckily, it was a short day (very short shift). however, i was on standby from 31st July till 2nd August and i was called up to work on 31st July. fortunately it was another short day and my fellow colleagues were so nice that they kept making me laughed and eventually, i forgot about the pain i had. people said that laughter is the best medicine, i kinda believe in that because once i got home, i fell terribly sick again. luckily a friend came to the rescue. "thanks for all the sms-es you sent. really helps a lot." thank God they did not called me up on 1st August or i'll die straight away. i knew i should see the doctor by now and so i decided to go home on the 2nd August after my standby (hoping that office will not call me and i can go home and visit the doctor). but no, stupid officer called me in the end and i've got to work. bah....what a life.

the thing is i've never been so sick for so long in my entire life (i guess). and losing my appetite altogether, that's crazy. so from 45kg (i know i'm underweight, so what), i shed 2kg in a week and that makes me 43kg. (@_@) BUT once i recovered since 2 days ago, i gained my appetite back and now i'm back to 45kg!! extra 2kg in just 2 days?!! that's amazing!!