Singapore & Kuching, Malaysia

pictures time...

Singapore


look, the curtains can only be activated by a remote control (my room in Singapore). among us all (my colleagues and i), my room is the only room with this kind of curtains. how lucky...


let's have a look at the view outside...


uh...what a "nice" view indeed.. -_-! construction's going on.


cotton balls in the sky..


look..they're everywhere.


Aerial view of Singapore 1.


Aerial view of Singapore 2.


Aerial view of Singapore 3.

The food we had in V8 Movie Restaurant, Singapore


The free soup.


Fish & chips.


Crispy chicken or wateva, forgot the name.


Also forgot the name, chicken chop bla bla bla.


Pineapple fried rice with ... forgot.

Kuching


Taken from my room; Kuching North City Hall and Fort Margherita.


The Waterfront and i think that is Gunung Santubong.


Holiday Inn Damai Lagoon Resort.


The beach; Holiday Inn Damai Lagoon Resort.


The pool and the beach; Holiday Inn Damai Lagoon Resort.


The pool; Holiday Inn Damai Lagoon Resort.


Passport to Sarawak Cultural Village.

more pictures here on Sarawak Cultural Village.

yup, like what i've expected, i'll never get to watch Doom in the cinema. all my friends have watched it and they watched it WITHOUT ME. anyhow i'm going to catch The Exorcism of Emily Rose in the cinema later in the evening with Rosh, her friend Tracy G and jie. come to think of it, this is like my FIRST time going to the cinema for a movie this year. eh no, actually it's my second time because i went for a free movie called Shall We Dance on Valentine's Day. so this time is gonna be the first time that i'm paying for the ticket myself. yes i know, it is SUPER PATHETIC of me. lets hope that it is going to be nice, and it's time to scare Rosh. hehe...

i think she feels a lil left out. i think she feels neglected. i think i've hurt her in a way which i don't mean to. i think she doesn't know that she has hurt me in a way that she doesn't mean to. i think i've made her change her thought about me. and i think she likes me less. now that we're both working and we're on a different path, we tend to fall apart and see each other less. we don't seem to be as close as how we used to be. we don't seem to know each other as well as we used to know. we've not seen each other for weeks and we sms/call each other less. "why must these happen to us?! is it me who has changed, or is it you who has become so different?" but i think it's the both of us. i've been asking her out quite often and everytime it's a failure. when she's free, i'm not and when i'm free, she's not. and usually when i'm free, Rosh is free too and we'll both be going out together, very often. when she knows that i'm out, she knows that i'm out with Rosh. is she jealous? will she be jealous? will she thinks that i'm leaving her out? it seems like, i'm the one who always put an effort to ask her out, and always it doesn't work. sometimes when i wanted to ask her out, i tend to have a second thought because i'm afraid that she might find me being irritating for asking her out so often. and sometimes i decided to do nothing and wait for her to ask me out. yet, for the past few weeks, she didn't text nor call. i don't wish that we'll end up like strangers. i don't wish that our friendship will end. and i don't wish that we'll be like this forever. just to let you know, you're always a friend whom i treasure the most.

well you see, maybe i'm just being over sensitive.

Some Say...

Some say love, it is a river
That drowns the tender reed
Some say love, it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed

Some say love, it is a hunger
An endless aching need
I say love, it is a flower
And you its only seed

It's the soul afraid of dreaming,
That never learns to dance
And the soul afraid of waking,
That never takes the chance

It's the one, who won't be taken
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying,
That never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long
When you feel that love is only
For the lucky and the strong

Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed that with the sun's love
In the spring becomes the rose

This came into my mailbox the other day. i thought it was some leaflets regarding some new events coming soon coz i always get these kind of stuff from Kent and Recharge. opened it and voila...


This is what's inside. opened again and ...


2 CDs yo!! cool... tried playing them. disc 1 got nothing and i love disc 2.


The main layout.


R3 Gallery; got to see some random pics taken that night. and Johan Gielen's Mix; all the tracks are awesome.

finally, they announced the news this morning. it's Doomsday. the virus has been spreading rapidly, a lot of people were killed. that was when i knew that i must not wait any longer, there's not much time left, and so, i asked J out. he said yes, and we went to the mall together. i was so happy to be out with him, for i never thought that he would say yes. we were walking like friends, when suddenly i saw a gal walking towards us. she looks so familiar from far. as she was walking closer, i finally got to see her face clearly, she's A. "why is she here?", i thought to myself. she came closer and closer and started smiling at him. she then held him by the arm and they both walked away together, leaving me there, standing alone. as they were walking away, she turned to me and gave me this "funny" stare, as in the he's-mine kind of stare. i just stood there, feeling pissed and sad. how could he walked away with her and leave me alone?! they then walked into MNG and there, she started hugging him and getting intimate with him. she gave me another stare, the i-win-you-lose-he's-mine-and-it's-fun-to-see-that-you-are-angry-and-jealous kind of stare. i turned around and walked away. as i was walking on the street like a dead soul, suddenly there's a tap on my shoulder. it's a friend. i told her about what happened. she looked at me and told me that it wasn't his fault, it was A's fault. all these while, he has feelings towards me but it was A who forced him to be with her. he is afraid of her, that is why he did not leave her. she even knew that J bought a bottle of perfume for me. but because he's afraid of A, he has been keeping that bottle of perfume for quite some time and is afraid to give it to me. i was happy to know about the truth, that he has feelings towards me. but i decided to let it be, as the time is running out. there's nothing much i can do. it was 4 hours before Doomsday that i decided to blog about this. i ran to the library down the road and saw a bunch of zombies there. the virus has spread till there. no where to run. i then saw a coconut tree right in front and decided to climb up the tree to avoid from the zombies. as i was about to climb the tree....rrRING...

it's my alarm clock. it's just a dream. a very dramatic one. i just love having this kind of dream. i mean not the part where A snatch J from me, but about the zombies and stuff. weird, full with actions, mysterious, horror kind of dreams. lovely.. but the part where A pulled J away from me, that suck big time.

i finished work early today and decided to have dinner with jie and Nikki. i was with jie and we were supposed to meet Nikki and Ben near The Curve. since it was after office hour and was raining, jie decided not to use LDP, instead he used the other way. when we were about to reach the toll booth (exit to PJ), we heard a loud blow and there, right in front of us, the windscreen just cracked. thank goodness it did not shatter. we called Nikki to tell her about the incident, meet her at her place and jie parked the car at Nikki's house. we then followed Ben's car and we ended up having dinner in a restaurant near Paramount.


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i was in Singapore for 4 days but i never buy anything from there at all. didn't go to places, the only place i went to was Parco Bugis Junction (shopping centre) to meet up with my college friends for dinner on the first day. oh and i also went to the mall right next to our hotel for dinner for the remaining days. yes, i know it's pathetic. we were so tired after work everyday, we were like dead fish and we didn't get enough sleep everyday. anyhow, my friends brought me to V8 Movie Restaurant for dinner and the food is quite good. they give complimentary soup to every customers. how nice, free starter before having your main course. Thanks for the dinner, Santi and Merawati.

was supposed to meet Karen at Orchard on 20th, but i couldn't make it because like i've said earlier, too tired. sorry Karen, guess we'll just meet in Malaysia one day.

yesterday evening, i was supposed to wake up at 5:30pm and go to jie's house at around 7:30pm. we'll be having a reunion dinner with our friends from university. i knew that the alarm clock rang and i thought of taking another 5 minutes nap before getting out from bed and get ready. when i opened my eyes again, my room was quite dark and when i looked at the clock, OH MY GOD!!! it's already 7:15pm. SHIT!! immediately i took my phone and started typing a text to jie. then jie text me, asking me where am i. GOSH.. i told them that they shouldn't wait for me and should go ahead with the plan without me. i knew if i am to get ready and leave my house, i'll be there very late. Nikki called me back and told me that she will try to force jie to come to my house to fetch me. DAMN IT. i felt so bad, really bad. so we had dinner at Vietnam Kitchen and after dinner, we went to Kafe 7 to play pool. it was fun catching up with these people again after so long. i've never seen some of them for almost 2 years; exemption to HC, Nikki and jie 'coz we meet quite often. jie then dumped us and went for movie with his friend. THEY WENT TO WATCH DOOM!! WITHOUT ME!! arghh... HC is going to watch that with someone else too. no one wanna watch it with me. :'(

i'll post some pictures when i'm free.

can't wait to go to Singapore tomorrow. i'm not looking forward to work but i'm looking forward to meet my old friends from college. 2 of them went to Singapore to work after graduated from college. can't wait to meet them tomorrow evening.

Karen is not in Singapore. she was supposed to be there last week with her colleagues but there was a change of plan. her company postponed the trip, and she'll be going there on the 20th Oct. well it's still good, i'll still be in Singapore by then. at least we can still catch up in Singapore. duh..as if we cannot meet when we are in Malaysia. well it's quite true, we are so busy with our work that i think the last time i met her was a month ago or maybe more. oh well, i'm so excited. just hope that everything will be good.

how's life? busy busy busy. work sucks and it's sickening but sometimes it's all good if my team members are nice. well what can i say or do about it? nothing but to live with it. this is how i'll get my money, an earning for living every month.

i'm going to Singapore next week for 4 days 3 nights. not going there for holiday but to work. yup, another business trip. just pray that my team members for that project will be nice and good. Karen is already in Singapore, she's there to work too. there's this big exhibition going on in Singapore and her company is involved in it. might catch up with her if we're both free.

can't wait to catch DOOM in cinema. that is if i'm free and if there's someone who is willing to go with me. or else, getting a DVD will be great too, but i'll have to wait for months.





DOOM

Nails in the fences...

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us."

OMG!! my friend who was in Canada just called to tell me that she's now in Malaysia. she's gonna be back here for 2 months and is leaving again end of November. she's not working any longer, she quitted the job she was doing in Canada and registered for a new course, which will start early next year. how i wish i'm as lucky as her, to be able to study and study and study, taking courses after courses until i finally found something i really like. almost all her brothers are working as doctors or something related to medical. so guess what course is she doing next year? yup, you got it, something to do with medical. she's taking Dental Hygienic. she's going to be a dental hygienist. WOW!!! she has done computing, networking, management, office job and now...man something really professional. why didn't all these came to us when we were younger, when we were thinking so hard on what courses to take right after high school? all we think about was computing, computing and computing.

i was stucked in computing too and graduated with a degree and spent so much money oversea but am doing something totally NOT related to what i've studied. we should have think about these professions earlier; dental hygienist, chiropractor, those "white coat" professions. well who ask me to be so stupid!!

i don't like to be disappointed and i don't like the feeling of disappointment. i mean who likes that anyway? being disappointed for a particular matter for once is ok. but if it happens over and over again over the same matter, that really suck. on the 2nd Oct, i decided to ask Trey out for dinner for her birthday, when she told me that she couldn't make it because she's going to have dinner with her family for her birthday too. that i understand and i'm fine with it. then the next day, i wanted to ask her out again for dinner and this time, she couldn't make it again because she's going to have dinner with her family as the dinner on the 2nd was canceled. her brother wasn't free so they're going to have it on the 3rd, that was yesterday. as for today, before i decided to leave my house to find her (i wanted to give her a surprise actually), i gave her a call instead, you know just in case she's not free. i was glad to actually called her first before i leave, as she's going to her friend's house to celebrate her friend's baby's Lunar Birthday. YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!! you know how hard it was to be disappointed for 3 times straight?! then you must be wondering, why dinner and not lunch or whateva? well don't ask me why for i do not know how to tell you. that's just part of the plan, the plan i have in my head. ya plan, you see, NEVER EVER PLAN! SHIT!! anyhow there's no one to be blamed. i can't blame her, but i must say that i'm disappointed. this sucks!!

last week, i was in Kota Kinabalu with Rosh. it was a very short trip for us, so we didn't manage to walk around to places and the plan to go to one of the islands was canceled. it was scorching hot outside, therefore we finally decided to settle down in Coffee Bean. chatted for hours and that's when i spilled the beans about myself; yeah she's my friend and of course she knew a lil bout me, but i was disclosing about the guys whom i used to like and the guys who used to like me. i actually shared almost everything with her. i trust her and we really click very well and she's a super nice gal whom i really really adore.

oh ya, i had tiramisu in Coffee Bean in KK and it's so different compared to the one in KL. the tiramisu there comes in a bowl, unlike the one in KL which comes in slices. it tasted better too. talking about tiramisu, the best tiramisu i've ever had/tasted was from Ristorante Rocking Horse in Milan. if you happen to be there, go try it. it's super duper yummy.


Coffee Bean's tiramisu 1


Coffee Bean's tiramisu 2


The best tiramisu i've ever tasted; Ristorante Rocking Horse, Milan. a MUST try if you happen to be there. two thumbs up!!

yo Trey,

::~*HaPpY bIrThDaY!!!*~::

may God bless you in whatever you may do. have fun and go celebrate with a blast!!

on the 29th Sept, i was in Kuching for a business trip with my colleagues. just for your information, we always work with different team of people everytime. so sometimes you'll get some really nice people and sometimes you'll get the really nasty ones. i was lucky enough to have these bunch of nice people as my team the other day, although there's this gal who turns out to be quite shitty. still i have to work although at times i really do feel like slapping her. *chill*

after having seafood for dinner at this place which i think it's called The Rooftop (that's because the place is located on the rooftop of a building), one of my colleagues was nice enough to accompany me for a walk along the Waterfront (i've never been there before). he's a really nice man (old enough to be my Dad. yes i know, what's with me and old men?? i think it's because they're much wiser and understanding, and they do not seem to have any other intentions compared to the younger ones) and we chatted for hours before we realized that it was already 11pm and we need to leave Kuching early next morning. that's when we decided to call it a night and we went back to our rooms and sleep. i wish to work with him again soon, for i really do enjoy working and talking to him.


Yup, nothing left. wanted to take a picture of the food earlier but we're too hungry.


Astana Palace, taken during the walk along Waterfront.


A closer view.


when we were in the van heading to our hotel earlier in the noon, it was freaking hot and there's no air-condition in the van. i was sweating like crazy and he said that he'll buy me a fan if he sees one. so tadaa...he bought me this while we were walking along the Waterfront (very cheap only lar ok, RM4 only). still, it's something and thanks.

26 Things That A Perfect Guy Would Do

1. Know how to make you smile when you are down.

2. Try to secretly smell your hair, but you always notice.

3. Stick up for you, but still respects your independence.

4. Give you the remote control during the game.

5. Come up behind you and put his arms around you.

6. Play with your hair.

7. His hands always find yours.

8. Be cute when he really wants something.

9. Offer you plenty of massages.

10. Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork.

11. Never run out of love.

12. Be funny, but know how to be serious.

13. Realize he's being funny when he needs to be serious.

14. Be patient when you take forever to get ready.

15. React so cutely when you hit him and it actually hurts.

16. Smile a lot.

17. Plans a romantic date full of cheesy things he wouldn't normally like to do, just because he knows it means a lot to you.

18. Appreciate you.

19. Help others out.

20. Drive 5 hours just to see you for 1.

21. Always gives you a peck on the cheek when you depart from each others company, even when his friends are watching.

22. Sing, even if he can't.

23. Have a creative sense of humour.

24. Stare at you.

25. Call for no reason.

26. Quit smoking, chewing, drinking or drugs - just because he loves you that much to quit it.

check how dirty is your mind...it's amazing.


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who said pigs are stupid??!! see this and it will prove you all wrong.

bro just called and he said that the stupid university people told them that there are no more rooms available in the hall, so no place for them to stay. what the hell!! bro went there with 3 of his friends and one of them was lucky because the last room was taken by him. but he's such a USELESS friend. 4 of them went there together and they should stay together, but this guy who's so selfish, took the last room and left the other 3 without a place to stay. "mou yi hei"!! "fan kuat chai"!! so bro and his friends went around town just now to look for a place to stay. if they couldn't find one by tonight, God knows where are they going to sleep. if worst comes to worst, i told him to stay in the hotel with his friends for a night, and continue searching again tomorrow.

thank God i have a friend staying in New Castle too. my one and only friend in New Castle. managed to contact him just now and told him about the whole situation. he told me to inform my bro that if he needs any help, just give him a call. if they couldn't find a place, call him and he'll help them tomorrow. THANK GOD!! "thanks bro".

pictures time!! since i already got my camera back, i started taking pictures of the things that i wanted to take previously; just for fun.


my new fragrance. bought it when i went to Singapore last month. smells quite good but i must say that i still prefer the fragrance that i've been using all these while; GAPSCENT simply white which i bought when i was in London. it's finishing and that's why i bought this new one.


my favourite; GAPSCENT simply white.


Me to You!!! i love Me to You teddies. they're so cute and adorable. i bought the 2 small ones (first from left and right. poor mar, no money to buy big one), the slightly bigger one was given to me by jie (second from right) and the biggest one was from....*drumroll*....hc. thank you guyz!


My collection of ciggie boxes.


...

woke up this morning and walked pass my bro's room. no one's there. felt so...sad. everything feels so different without his presence, without having him at home. now i know how my family have felt and gone through when i left for UK 2 years ago. although my bro and i always quarrel, i must admit that i do miss his absence now. my family is very very important to me. they're far more important than any other things in the world. they always come FIRST, always..

I WILL ALWAYS ♡ YOU GUYS!!

just sent my bro off at the airport just now. it was sad but i didn't cry. like i've said, i never cry in public nor in front of anyone, i don't simply cry, even if i watch sad movies, i don't cry. the whole situation kinda reminds me of the time when i left for UK. Mum did cried although she said that she'll never cry. however, she only started crying when she was in the car after sending my bro off. according to my sis, this time was a lot better compared to the time when i left for UK 2 years ago. according to her, Mum started crying right after i entered the departure gate. in the car, the situation was so tensed and such a coincidence, the radio station that we were listening to was playing sad songs. of course we got more tensed. then Dad switched to another Chinese channel (Mum and Dad only listen to Chinese channels, but sometimes Dad listens to Light & Easy) and what the hell, it was playing sad songs too. all the sad lyrics, "wo ku" and "hen xiang ni"..war lau eh... why lar so ngam one!! when we reached home, Mum was ok already. pheww... but Hailie was like so puzzled. she saw and i believe she knew (dogs are smart creature ok) 5 of us left the house earlier, but only 4 came back. where's "ko ko"??

Tanny, have a safe journey, take care and all the best!! And be good!!

this is damn funny man. i came across this blog from my friend's blog the other day and i found one post in that blog which is very funny. well, maybe not to you but to me, yes i think it's funny. alright, he found a blog which is in Cantonese and he even attempted to blog in Cantonese. take a look at his Cantonese post. funny leh.. no? nevermind. then, i went to that Cantonese blog that he found and my oh my, it is definitely not easy to blog in Cantonese, moreover it takes time to actually spell every single word out correctly. as for us the readers, we need to spend time reading them carefully to understand what are they trying to say, and more importantly, BE PATIENT. but it's good though, at least i can read and understand a lil. what to do, i don't know how to read Chinese. BANANA mar...

I AM SO FRUSTRATED!! I HATE THEM!! stupid people in my company were blaming me for not turning up to work. i was like, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??!! ME, NOT TURNING UP?? SINCE WHEN?!! just because of a mistake made by one of the staff, i got scolded for nothing by 2 other staff. actually the word 'ACCUSED' seems to be a lil more appropriate. what the hell! yes, that's them. to them, they're the God and we're the Devil. they'll blame us no matter we're right or wrong. to them, it's always our fault. to them, we're always WRONG, they're always RIGHT. that's them, being so inefficient and so ridiculous. well, we can never blame them totally. it's because of the others who always didn't turn up to work and went missing in action, so they thought that all of us are the same just like those who are always being so irresponsible. but hello, not all are like those irresponsible people ok. i talked to this particular lady in the office and she said that it's alright now. it's her fault, her mistake. well thanks to her, i got all the scolding from the others. and thanks to her, i'm now a very well-known person in that department. and thanks for falsely blacklisting me as well. thank you thank you *took a bow*

Happy Merdeka Day!! yay..it's Merdeka again and as usual, i was at home. come to think of it, i've never been out on Merdeka's eve for countdown before. hmm...that's what you call "anak Malaysia" huh? but hey, at least i do sing 'Negaraku', 'Jalur Gemilang' and the 'Tanggal 31' song every year ok.. alright some of you might think that i'm crazy then. who cares...

so after dinner with family yesterday, we went to Baskin-Robbins to get ourselves some ice cream. they have this promotion where when you purchase ice cream on the 31st day of every month, you'll be given a 31% discount. however this month, they have a special promotion for Merdeka, it's called the Merdeka 3 days special, where this offer started on the 29th till 31st. we got ourselves 3 tubs of ice cream; 2 quart tubs and 1 pint tub. yummy yummy... but to be really honest, i'm not a very big fan of Baskin. i would say that i prefer Haagen-Dazs more; uh i miss having Haagen-Dazs especially in London. damn, everything i like somehow seems to be related to London and London and London. i really love that place. all the memories...ah..MEMORIES!!

anyhow here's a pic of the ice cream we bought. talking about picture, i got my camera back yesterday. oh wait a minute, did i mention that my camera was admitted to the Canon Hospital? it was a few months ago when i got to know that it was sick. so i haven't been taking any pictures for months. we only got it fixed like 2 weeks ago and i just got it back yesterday. according to the doctor, there's something wrong with the optical lens, so they have to perform an operation and give it a new optical lens. that operation cost us around RM437. ouch.. well at least it's better than coughing another few thousand bucks to get a new one.


WARNING: Do not lick the computer screen or you might get electrocuted. hahaha...

don't you just hate it when someone borrowed money from you and then pretended or acted as if there's nothing happening?! it's like they're taking money from you for FREE and then spent it and acted as if that's their own money that they are spending. gosh!! people like them are so IRRESPONSIBLE and UNRELIABLE. they did not intend to pay and they didn't even anticipate to pay you back. best of all, they must be hoping that you'll be too shy to ask from them, hoping that you'll be quiet forever, hoping that you'll forget about it soon, and let them enjoy the bonus they've got from you, and then make fun of you for being so STUPID! indeed this is how i'm feeling right now, i'm feeling so STUPID!!

you see, two of my colleagues borrowed money from me few days ago and yup, the stupid me who's trying to be nice, lent them some money and until now, i've never heard anything from them nor have i receive a penny from them. well there's no one else to blame except for me. i'm always this stupid!! that's not like the first time it happened to me. even some of my very own friends who borrowed money from me did not return me back even a penny, and when we were out together, they could just ignore and pretend as if they didn't owe me anything. i'm just trying to be nice and kind and help whenever i can, but it ended up that i'm the stupid one. well i'm not going to wait any longer, i'm going to ask for my money back from that two colleagues of mine who actually disgraced themselves.

i bought another insurance for myself yesterday. i'm going to suffer every month, going to struggle to pay for my premiums every month. man, i'm going to be SO DAMN BROKE!!

bro is leaving for UK next month. he's going to New Castle to study. he was supposed to go to Australia to study but he suddenly changed his mind. i have no idea why. maybe it's because of his friends, most of them are going to New Castle. well it's all up to him. i don't know what's going to happen to my parents by then.

i don't get it. i don't know what is so wrong with me wearing PINK instead of BLACK. yes i know that i'm this funky gal who loves black, but that doesn't mean that i can't wear pink, right? i might be this tough looking gal or should i say i'm like a tomboy, but that doesn't mean that i can't be feminine, right? i love wearing pants especially jeans and sneakers but that doesn't mean that i can't wear skirts and heels, right? stop teasing me if i look different to you guys, ok?? just give me a break, will ya?? after all, i'm still a FREAKING FEMALE!

What Hug Can Do~???

A hug is a wonderful gift to share,
A way to show each other that we care;
There is so much a hug is able to do,
When you feel those arms holding you.

A hug is a place to feel safe and warm,
A comfort for a sad heart that is torn;
An expression of the love in our heart,
For ones who we wish, never to be apart.

A hug is a greeting when we meet to say hello,
Or to say goodbye when we have to go;
It can hold us up when life gets us down,
And makes us smile, instead of frown.

A hug can be given for no reason at all,
And given to those, both big and small;
We're never too old to feel the joy it brings,
As it is one of life's most pleasing things.

And for all of this beauty, a hug is free!
It costs nothing, yet means so much to me;
We should all hug another to show we care,
For to feel a warm hug, nothing can compare.

intoxicated for 4 consecutive nights. never have i been so intoxicated before in my whole life. usually i only drink when i'm out clubbing, and that was like only a day. for the past 4 nights, i've been drinking with my colleagues and God knows how much alcohol are there in our blood, in our body. it might be very common to some people but not to me. we've been forced to drink and during that 4 nights, we've been having JD (Jack Daniel's) and gin.
lots of drinking + empty stomach + lack of sleep = dead human.
time to detox myself.

i'm so relieved to know that my Dad is doing fine. thank God that he's alright. he's suffering from this minor illness which i hope he'll get well soon. i remember once, he almost got hit by a stroke. that was few years back. scary but thank God he's alright. after today's incident, i realize that my Dad is getting old. my parents are getting old. even i myself is growing older. why must we age? why must we age and die? life is so unpredictable. we do not know what will happen to us tomorrow, we do not know what is awaiting us in front. so since we're still alive and young now, it's time for us to learn to treasure the people around us, treasure our lives, treasure the moment we've spent with the people we love. enjoy and have fun. live life to the fullest while you still can.

something very bad just happened to my Dad. i have no idea what's wrong but he's really sick. i'm so scared, so worried. bro just drove Mum and Dad to the hospital. i'm tired but i couldn't sleep. i hope he'll be alright, i hope everything will be fine. i pray and hope that it is only a minor illness. please God, do Bless my Dad. Bless my family because they are too important to me. Thank you.

yesterday we had this so-called advance farewell celebration for one of our colleagues in a pub. it was a great night although there's no one in the pub except for us. that person who is leaving in a month time paid for all the drinks we had. thanks!! it was a great night, a night to remember. a night which i can never forget how crazy and stupid i was. what i've done that night was way far from what you could imagine, something that none of my colleagues dare to do. one of them told me that i was so brave to have done "that". though she knew that person longer than i do, she said that she can never do what i've done. she doesn't dare to do that "thing". couldn't believe that i've actually done that. i didn't think about anything at all when i was doing that "thing". i just did that because i wanted to. on that day itself, i don't think that it's stupid, i don't think that it's crazy until just now, when i was thinking about it again, i seriously couldn't believe what i've done. what the hell was i thinking at that time??!! i started to wonder, but i have no idea. how can i be so SILLY, how can i be SO STUPID and HOW CAN I BE SO CRAZY??!! freaking shit. lets try to forget it because it's over. darn. thank God my colleagues were ok with it, which i hope they really are. phewww...

p/s: that "thing" is not about sex or kiss or something obscene. ok, it's just about piggyback. not a big deal you said? you don't know...it's BIG...to me.

never ever plan an outing. if you wanna go just go. DON'T PLAN. i'm not sure if it happens to others but it always happens to me, and i mean ALWAYS. everytime when my friends and i plan something, we are excited of course, especially me. but never once does the plan works. it will always end up with disappointment.

the plan for yesterday was a total screwed up. the plan was to have dinner with some mates and after dinner, we'll be heading to one of the club in town. it was supposed to be a great night but somehow planning an event is something i don't believe in (yet i'm still doing it all the time). i knew it will never work like what we've planned, and i actually sense that something will go wrong, very wrong. true enough, one by one started to call to say that they couldn't make it and bla bla bla. i was disappointed but what can i do. till the end, only 2 person could make it for dinner, and one of them was me.

since the plan was totally screwed up and dinner for 2 sounds so sad, i decided to call off the night. was at home sleeping until a friend called and asked me bout the night. she was so eager to know what's the plan like and she suggested that we should go to The Loft. i was shocked, she's the type that hardly ask her friends to club. since she's so interested to go and i've never been to The Loft, i decided to go out that night.

i managed to find 2 other friends to accompany me at TGI Friday's while waiting for this particular friend of mine to come. finally she came and she brought along a huge surprise with her. LEE SAN was back!! wow..i gave out 2 shouts when i saw her. the first was nothing, quite low but the second one was loud. that's when everyone in the restaurant started turning their heads and looked at us. i've been FOOLED! next we headed to The Loft and there i met a few friends. friends that i've never met for quite some time. one of them just got back from UK for holidays. he was someone i used to fancy. and i repeat, USED TO fancy.

anyhow, i'm glad that i've made the right choice to go out that night. happy to see Lee San again.

Natasha Bedingfield
I Bruise Easily

My skin is like a map
Of where my heart has been
And I can't hide the marks
It's not a negative thing
So I let down my guard
Drop my defenses down by my clothes
I'm learning to fall
With no safety net to cushion the blow

I bruise easily
So be gentle when you handle me
There’s a mark you leave
Like a love heart carved on a tree
I bruise easily
Can’t scratch the surface
Without moving me underneath
I bruise easily
I bruise easily

I found your fingerprints
On a glass of wine
Do you know you're leaving them
All over this heart of mine too
But if I never take this leap of faith
I'll never know
So I’m learning to fall
With no safety net to cushion the blow

I bruise easily
So be gentle when you handle me
There’s a mark you leave
Like a love heart carved on a tree
I bruise easily
Can’t scratch the surface
Without moving me underneath
I bruise easily
I bruise easily

Anyone who can touch you
Can hurt you or heal you
Anyone who can reach you
Can love you or leave you

So be gentle...

I bruise easily
So be gentle when you handle me
There’s a mark you leave
Like a love heart carved on a tree
I bruise easily
Can’t scratch the surface
Without moving me underneath
I bruise easily
I bruise easily

I bruise easily
I bruise easily

wrote this entry down on a piece of paper on the 22nd July 2005. was in Kota Kinabalu for business trip. here goes...

22 July - i'm in my room reading with the radio on, listening to mix.fm and it's 3:50am now. the radio is playing this song called "If You're Not The One" by Daniel Bedingfield. i'm not a fan of his, nor do i fancy this song. somehow i started to have this weird feeling lingering in my heart. it reminds me of the time when i was in London. i always heard this song on air on one of the radio stations in London when i was working in this clinic. the station is called London's Heart 106.2. they love playing this song over and over again for the whole day. guess i really miss the time i had. how nice if i can freeze the time when i was there with my mates. memories, something to be remembered...ALWAYS..

the decision i've made to go out for dinner with my colleagues yesterday is never a mistake. that night, we met a pilot, Captain Chris and we had dinner together. it was a great night, we had a great time talking, joking and laughing for hours. after dinner, the Capt and i spent another hour talking and i found that he's a really nice chap; understanding, smart, funny, caring. of course when i said that, it does not mean that i'm into him. i think he's old enough to be my Dad, he's probably around his 40s, yet age doesn't matter for us to be friends. but i really do like him as in i really enjoy the time we've had together that night and of course it would be great if we could just stay in touch and be close friends. an older and wiser man as a good friend? why not. and once again, i'm not into him please.

something is really wrong between Tracy and i. lately, we seems to have more arguements whenever we meet. guess there are some miscommunications and misunderstanding going on. it's so hard. she's always hoping that i'll understand her feelings and situations, but can she just for once think about my feelings and situations? i'm just hoping that we'll be fine soon.

it was my big day yesterday; my Birthday. but i never got to celebrate it because i have to work. yeah, working on Sunday was pathetic and miserable, even worst when you have to work on your own once-in-a-year big day. anyhow, Happy Belated Birthday to me!!!

life is so sad once i started working. working hours are so unpredictable and my life is turning upside down. i'm always complaining about my job, but still i'm doing it because i'm left with no choice. ok lets just try looking at the bright side. at least i have a job, a source of income and i'm earning for a living. it doesn't really matter about the amount i'm earning. as for me, the amount isn't important, what's more important is my interest towards my job. i would rather choose a job that i enjoy and am happy with, with less pay than doing something i dislike. but what's happening to me now is totally different from what i've wanted. i must admit that the money i'm earning is quite good but the problem is i'm not enjoying what i'm doing. maybe i just need more time to cope with it. i may look happy but i'm not. it's the "Happy" mask i put on and people do not know how miserable i am inside. it's really hard to live with this mask on. hope that one day, i do not have to live with this mask on to shows that i'm happy, but to have my own true happy face and be the real me.

Quote of the day:
~Do what you love and love what you do. That means, do something because you love it, not because you want it to bring you fame and fortune.

my job is killing me. i'm turning to be a zombie real soon and please, do welcome me into the World of Zombies. i'm working like a slave, a cow or should i say buffalo. actually my job is worst than that. this is so hard to believe and yes, i still couldn't cope with this kind of life. i'm doing my second practical now, and yeah they're killing me. i'm suffering from severe back pain, actually suffering from pain all over the body, lack of sleep (seriously i might just collapsed from exhaustion one day), losing weight and losing friends. been working and working and working, that i have no time at all to spend it with my friends and even my family. sis told me today that since i started this job, my house seems to be a hotel to me. all i do is come back and sleep and go to work again. it's sad to hear that, especially from my own sis, but this is my life now. had a talk with my Mum regarding this matter and i'm glad that she understands. she knew that my job requires a lot of sacrifices, i need to let go many things..

today is our last day in class. after this we'll be heading to our own path and we do not know when will we be meeting each other again. thinking about it makes me feel so sad. we will still be meeting each other for the very last time during our graduation day but things are gonna be so different then.

All the best to YOU GUYS!!! gonna miss all of you...

met up with Tracy yesterday and i am trying to meet up with her as often as i can before i finish my training and started working full time. i believe things will never be the same as before once i started working full time. i'll be spending most of my time working and the time to be spent with my family and friends will be reduced. you might think that it couldn't be as bad as what i've said, but trust me, it is that bad. i'm not doing a 9-5 job. our working hours and days are inflexible. sometimes we'll have to work on weekends, public holidays and special occasions. i'm just afraid that friends might think that i'm forgetting and neglecting them, but i hope that they will understand my situation. this is going to be a tough one. i've talked about this with my family and they understand perfectly. Thank you.

time is running out. we are left with only 7 more working days to go, for us to spend our time together in the same class. after that 7 days, we'll be going to different paths where we will never be able to see each other again, unless we're very very lucky to be assigned to work together. and that is a very rare case. the percentage for us to be assigned to work together is as low as 1%. so it seems to be a total impossible thing.

for the past few days, i was trying to enjoy and appreciate my time with my fellow colleagues/classmates, especially with this particular friend of mine, who sat next to me. we were supposed to have a great time talking to each other, but due to my sad condition (i have super sore throat), i lost my voice for freaking 3 days of work and i couldn't communicate with him. on the last day of work, that was Friday, out of nowhere, he wrote something on a piece of paper which i believe were lyrics, and he gave it to me. he then told me that he wrote those stuff to his gf when he was a drug addict last time. yes he used to be a drug addict. he confessed that to us during his 4th speech and i think that it's so brave of him to tell us that. it's never easy to say something especially something that's bad about oneself to the public. however i was shocked and surprised when he showed me the paper. i think he wanted to share his past with me, needed a friend to talk to about his past. i don't mind listening to him as i myself wanted to know more about him. nothing more, but just as a friend. he's a guy full with mysteries, awaiting for someone to explore it. i wanted to ask him about his past, especially his life as a drug addict before, but i couldn't do it because of my voice. and i do not know should i ask him or not. well lets just wait and see how thing goes..

YES!! finally i experienced something good during my practical experience today. it was hell a lot better than my first one. i was given an opportunity to do something which i think none of my colleagues got to experience it. well finally i got something nice to say about my practical experience tomorrow when we gather in the class again. at least i won't feel like an idiot when people started talking about how fun and how great their experiences were tomorrow.

we did our first practical experience relating to our job yesterday. we were put into a group of 2, some 3. different group were given different tasks, different venue and different time. i wasn't really enjoying my practical. i was in a group with 2 other colleagues and they were having fun especially Sam. we met up with some other colleagues later and they were talking about how nice their experiences were. when it was my turn, i do not know what to say. it wasn't a very enjoyable one. i was just there, standing like an idiot and i learnt nothing at all. yeah, it could be my fault for not asking anything, but when i asked, the people doesn't seems to like me, they do not want to answer me too. just faced it, i do not have the friendly look. i have the look that everybody hates when they see me. others were saying that they had a great time and i was the only one, sitting there trying to be quiet. i'm going to have my second practical tomorrow, where everyone will have to do it individually. lets hope that it's going to be a GREAT one for me, at least i can say something about the GREAT experience i'll be having.

we, as in my colleagues and i went to the airport today for some working purposes. we were supposed to gather at around 7:15am and depart together but somehow, 7 of us were late. so 10 of the other colleagues went to the airport without us, and they went with the shuttle bus. we decided to drive there and off we go in 2 different cars, speeding on the highway like some crazy maniacs. Rosh and i were in the same car and we have no idea where to park the car because the parking fee in the airport is super expensive. so we were wondering and wondering while following our friend's car from behind. then he drove to the pick-up point at the arrival terminal and he just parked there right in front of 2 police officers. we were shocked!! he then talked to this man standing with the 2 officers and we thought that was his friend. we parked our car there then. we were like the VIPs. fuh..i just loved that moment. and later we found out that, that man whom my friend talked to, is not his friend but his Dad. we were like...COOLLLL!! his Dad is a police officer, a detective sergeant working in KLIA. that experience was a very COOL one.

He is online and i'm chatting with Him now, while blogging here. somehow i felt that He's hiding something from me. i even have this feeling that tells me that He's lying to me too about "this thing" which He thought that i don't know, which in fact i knew. hmmm...sounds kinda complicated. anyhow i do not know why it's bothering me so much. it's not as if there's something between us right now. maybe i dislike Him for being dishonest.

i do not know what is He trying to do. i received a message from Him from friendster yesterday. it was a total shock. He did not use friendster for months and suddenly He's appearing again. but what's the point then, when He's not being sincere and He doesn't even care. yup that's just Him. always there to give you surprises once a while and go missing in action for months. jerk!!

it's Labour Day! yay!! and tomorrow is a public holiday too. just came back from shopping. bought a pair of new Levi's jeans, a pair of long pants for work and a skirt. tried hunting for shoes again, but still couldn't find any. this is so freaking annoying. where are all the nice shoes??!! it's either no size or out of stock. so freaking pissed!!

i had a dream today. He came to Malaysia and yes we had a great time together. but it's all just a dream. am trying to get over Him but suddenly dreamt of Him. well it's alright, it's just a dream.

brought Hailie to the vet in the noon. she couldn't jump nor run for the past few days, i think she sprained one of her legs while chasing after cats the other day. but the vet said that she's fine, no sprained leg but she has an infected paw and ears. Hailie was given 2 injections and a few tablets, as well as a bottle of antibiotic for the infections. it's so sad to see Hailie so moody. she's a very active and playful dog, but now she's so quiet. by the way, Hailie is a toy poodle. love her so much...


My baby, Hailie.

woke up today and my body is aching all over. went clubbing yesterday with my colleagues. it was quite a fun night out, however there were times when things got kinda screwed up too. sigh..suddenly i'm running out of words. forgot what i wanted to write here. anyhow i'm feeling sleepy again. gee..guess i'm too old to party till "early" morning. gonna go get some sleep again... before that, here are some cute pics that i found..


Image 1


Image 2


Image 3

so confuse. i thought that i will be happy to hear "this news" but i don't. i'm not as happy as i should be. i'm so confuse about this feeling in me. why??

i accidently dropped my freaking bag today and yes, my mobile phone is in there. damn it!! now there's a big crack line on the screen. argghhh...so mad and so sad.

the pictures below are non-animated pictures. they are related to your pressure level. if you see them move, then that means you have pressure currently. the speed of the movement is the level of your pressure. the higher the moving speed, the higher pressure you have. most children and old men see the pictures as non-moving images and keep still. test yourself regularly with these pictures to know yourself better.
sometimes, it is good to have an appropriate pressure to push us to do better, but too much pressure can cause us to the end of the edge. thus be relaxed when you know you have too much pressure inside!


Image 1


Image 2


Image 3

omg..it's been a while since i last blogged. i've been very very busy since i started my training. having exams almost every week and lack of sleep all the time. i think i'm losing weight when i actually need to gain more weight. darn!! yup life isn't the same now, studying life and working life are totally DIFFERENT. i miss my student life, i miss my room in Ted Lewis Hall, I MISS LONDON. going out later to catch up with some friends. it's been a while since we last met. well everyone is busy with whatever they're doing now. so...

i seriously need to put on some weight. but how? i'm a freaking big eater, ya if you see the amount of food i eat, you'll be surprised. i eat and eat and eat, like what my friend used to say, i can swallow the whole elephant but my weight is still the same, constant 43kg. according to the Body Mass Index chart, i'm freaking underweight. that's so unhealthy. the ideal weight for me is at least 48kg. 48kg?? how can i get there from 43kg??!! there might be something wrong with my body. i ate so much and i couldn't even gain 1kg. so it's either my body couldn't absorb the nutrient or there are worms inside me. my Mum asked me to try deworming myself. deworm?? imagine having worms either dead or alive coming out from your arse. eww...yucks...that scares the bejesus out of me.

i just came back and couldn't wait to blog about this stupid thing that just happened to me not too long ago. after work/class, i went to Subang Parade to meet my sis and bro to go home together. i was wearing "baju kurung" and heck, i just hate people mistaken me as a Malay. do i look like one first of all??!! of course i know that i look a little tan, but still i believe i have that typical Chinese look. i went to this footwear store and i spoke to this particular lady in English. she then replied in Bahasa Malaysia. fine, i thought that she's a Malay, but when i looked at her nametag, she's a freaking Chinese. so why is she speaking to me in Bahasa??!! fine, i talked to her in Bahasa as well and walked off. then when we were heading to our car in the carpark, this Malay lady handed me a book, some Quran book. i was lke...WHAT THE FUCK!!! ya i was pissed of course, but my sis was laughing behind. i don't get it. do i really look like a Malay??!! that's not the first or second time it happened to me, it happened few times before, people mistaken me as a Malay. i might look tan alright, but still i'm a FREAKING CHINESE with a FREAKING TYPICAL CHINESE LOOK. felt so insulted. no offence to anyone of course, but i just hate being mistaken as someone else, as in different race or religion. those people must be FUCKING BLIND!!!

couldn't sleep last night, kept thinking about "this" matter which my instructor told me about. sigh... i hate this life of mine now, but i know that what they're doing are for our own good.

i miss my old life
i miss my student life
i miss my friends
i miss the good old days i had with my friends
i miss talking to my family especially my Mum
i miss playing with my dog everyday
i miss my jeans
i miss my sneakers
i miss my night life
i miss "mamak"
i miss going online and chat with my friends far far away from Malaysia
i miss everything
life is never the same again...

my life is changing drastically since i started my training. i'm living in this boring and exhausting life everyday. i need to get up freaking early in the morning everyday, at 4:30am. go for classes then come home late in the evening. no more online, no more going out with friends at night, all i do is sleep, sleep and sleep. i'm like a total different person now, both physically and mentally. family are so surprised to see the changes in me, and i believe my friends will be shocked too. i'm turning from a funky looking girl to an elegant lady. sigh... I'M NOT ME ANYMORE!!! the ladies are required to wear pants or skirts with jacket on (suits), makeup and hair tied up nicely. gentlemen with collar shirt and tie. we must look NEAT. it makes me look like a career woman and i don't like it. i'm too young to dress that way and it makes me look much older, but i have no choice.

there's an extremely big hole in my pocket. haven't got my pay yet and i've been spending way too much from what we're getting. suits and makeup are not cheap. for the very first time, at the age of 22, i owned my very own complete set of cosmetics; from foundation to concealer, eyeliner to brow pencil, eyeshadows, mascara, blusher, lipstick and finishing powder. everything cost me a bomb. i even spent more than i can earned. this is freaking sad.

suddenly i'm thinking of "Him" and i miss "Him"...

What your Birth month means:

JANUARY
* Ambitious and serious
* Loves to teach and be taught
* Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses
* Likes to criticize
* Hardworking and productive
* Smart, neat and organized
* Sensitive and has deep thoughts
* Knows how to make others happy
* Quiet unless excited or tensed
* Rather reserved
* Highly attentive
* Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds
* Romantic but has difficulties expressing love
* Loves children
* Homely person
* Loyal
* Needs to improve social abilities
* Easily jealous

FEBRUARY
* Abstract thoughts
* Loves reality and abstract
* Intelligent and clever
* Changing personality
* Temperamental
* Quiet, shy and humble
* Low self esteem
* Honest and loyal
* Determined to reach goals
* Loves freedom
* Rebellious when restricted
* Loves aggressiveness
* Too sensitive and easily hurt
* Showing anger easily
* Dislike unnecessary things
* Loves making friends but rarely shows it
* Daring and stubborn
* Ambitious
* Realizing dreams and hopes
* Sharp
* Loves entertainment and leisure
* Romantic on the inside not outside
* Superstitious and ludicrous
* Spendthrift
* Learns to show emotions

MARCH
* Attractive personality
* Affectionate
* Shy and reserved
* Secretive
* Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic
* Loves peace and serenity
* Sensitive to others
* Loves to serve others
* Not easily angered
* Trustworthy
* Appreciative and returns kindness
* Observant and assess others
* Revengeful
* Loves to dream and fantasize
* Loves traveling
* Loves attention
* Loves home decors
* Musically talented
* Loves special things
* Moody

APRIL
* Active and dynamic
* Decisive and hateful but tends to regret
* Attractive and affectionate to oneself
* Strong mentality
* Loves attention
* Diplomatic
* Consoling
* Friendly and solves people's problems
* Brave and fearless
* Adventurous
* Loving and caring
* Suave and generous
* Emotional
* Revengeful
* Aggressive
* Hasty
* Good memory
* Moving
* Motivate oneself and the others
* Sickness usually of the head and chest
* Easily get too jealous

MAY
* Stubborn and hard-hearted
* Strong-willed and highly motivated
* Sharp thoughts
* Easily angered
* Attracts others and loves attention
* Deep feelings
* Beautiful physically and mentally
* Firm standpoint
* Easily influenced
* Needs no motivation
* Easily consoled
* Systematic (left brain)
* Loves to dream
* Strong clairvoyance
* Understanding
* Sickness usually in the ear and neck
* Good imagination
* Good debating skills
* Good physical
* Weak breathing
* Loves literature and the arts
* Loves traveling
* Dislike being at home
* Restless
* Hardworking
* High spirited
* Spendthrift

JUNE
* Thinks far with vision
* Easily influenced by kindness
* Polite and soft-spoken
* Having lots of ideas
* Sensitive
* Active mind
* Hesitating
* Tends to delay
* Choosy and always wants the best
* Temperamental
* Funny and humorous
* Loves to joke
* Good debating skills
* Talkative
* Daydreamer
* Friendly
* Knows how to make friends
* Abiding
* Able to show character
* Easily hurt
* Prone to getting colds
* Loves to dress up
* Easily bored
* Fussy
* Seldom show emotions
* Takes time to recover when hurt
* Brand conscious
* Executive
* Stubborn
* Those who loves me are enemies
* Those who hates me are friends

JULY
* Fun to be with
* Secretive
* Difficult to fathom and to be understood
* Quiet unless excited or tensed
* Takes pride in oneself
* Has reputation
* Easily consoled
* Honest
* Concern about people's feelings
* Tactful
* Friendly
* Approachable
* Very emotional
* Temperamental and unpredictable
* Moody and easily hurt
* Witty and sarky
* Sentimental
* Not revengeful
* Forgiving but never forgets
* Dislike nonsensical and unnecessary things
* Guides others physically and mentally
* Sensitive and forms impressions carefully
* Caring and loving
* Treats others equally
* Strong sense of sympathy
* Wary and sharp
* Judge people through observations
* Hardworking
* No difficulties

AUGUST
* Loves to joke
* Attractive
* Suave and caring
* Brave and fearless
* Firm and has leadership qualities
* Knows how to console others
* Too generous and egoistic
* Takes high pride of oneself
* Thirsty for praises
* Extraordinary spirit
* Easily angered
* Angry when provoked
* Easily jealous
* Observant
* Careful and cautious
* Thinks quickly
* Independent thoughts
* Loves to lead and to be led
* Loves to dream
* Talented in the arts, music and defense
* Sensitive but not petty
* Poor resistance against illnesses
* Learns to relax
* Hasty and rushy
* Romantic
* Loving and caring
* Loves to make friends

SEPTEMBER
* Suave and compromising
* Careful, cautious and organized
* Likes to point out people's mistakes
* Likes to criticize
* Quiet but able to talk well
* Calm and cool
* Kind and sympathetic
* Concerned and detailed
* Trustworthy, loyal and honest
* Does work well
* Sensitive
* Thinking
* Good memory
* Clever and knowledgeable
* Loves to look for information
* Must control oneself when criticizing
* Able to motivate oneself
* Understanding
* Secretive
* Loves sports, leisure and traveling
* Hardly shows emotions
* Tends to bottle up feelings
* Choosy especially in relationships
* Loves wide things
* Systematic

OCTOBER
* Loves to chat
* Loves those who loves him
* Loves to takes things at the centre
* Attractive and suave
* Inner and physical beauty
* Does not lie or pretend
* Sympathetic
* Treats friends importantly
* Always making friends
* Easily hurt but recovers easily
* Bad tempered
* Selfish
* Seldom helps unless asked
* Daydreamer
* Very opinionated
* Does not care of what others think
* Emotional
* Decisive
* Strong clairvoyance
* Loves to travel, the arts and literature
* Soft-spoken, loving and caring
* Romantic
* Touchy and easily jealous
* Concerned
* Loves outdoors
* Just and fair
* Spendthrift and easily influenced
* Easily lose confidence

NOVEMBER
* Has a lot of ideas
* Difficult to fathom
* Thinks forward
* Unique and brilliant
* Extraordinary ideas
* Sharp thinking
* Fine and strong clairvoyance
* Can become good doctors
* Careful and cautious
* Dynamic in personality
* Secretive
* Inquisitive
* Knows how to dig secrets
* Always thinking
* Less talkative but amiable
* Brave and generous
* Patient
* Stubborn and hard-hearted
* If there is a will, there is a way
* Determined
* Never give up
* Hardly become angry unless provoked
* Loves to be alone
* Thinks differently from others
* Sharp-minded
* Motivates oneself
* Does not appreciates praises
* High-spirited
* Well-built and tough
* Deep love

DECEMBER
* Loyal and generous
* Patriotic
* Active in games and interactions
* Impatient and hasty
* Ambitious
* Influential in organizations
* Fun to be with
* Loves to socialize
* Loves praises
* Loves attention
* Loves to be loved
* Honest and trustworthy
* Not pretending
* Short tempered
* Changing personality
* Not egoistic
* Takes high pride in oneself
* Hates restrictions
* Loves to joke
* Good sense of humor
* Logical

had an extremely stupid dream today - my neighbour was attacked by a Predator right in front of my house. it's stupid but interesting. haha...

yesterday A text me out of nowhere. she wanted to ask me out and talk about us; me and she. i was thinking, what the hell.. anyhow i couldn't make it because i'm going out with family in an hour time when she text me. asked her what is there to talk about, she replied me with this: "kinda miss you and you never even call me! like you hate me or something. might sounds silly to you but not to me. felt like we don't know each other anymore. misses you for long time, just waiting for you to call. but you didn't. i know you have new life, so do i. and today, i read your old letters for me when i was in poli and so i decided to let it all out. even if we won't be buddies like we used to, i have no regrets after letting you know i still hope we can be good friends like we used to. thank you." i've been thinking, if she misses me so much, is it really hard for her to call me then?? why must i call her. i mean how would the hell i know that she's missing me and that she's waiting for my call? isn't it suppose to be the other way round, she misses me so she should call and let me know about it?? hmm... well whatever. so i replied her back, "people change and things change, i believe you knew that. some things can never be the same like what it used to be, that's the fact. sometimes people made mistakes without realizing it, but when they do, it's too late. sometimes people just don't appreciate what they really have, but when they do, it's just too late. over means over. the past is the past. what i'm trying to say is that although we can never be like what we used to be, you are still a friend to me. no hard feelings. i'm not saying that it's your fault, because it could be my fault too. but things between us will never be like what we used to be. i hope you understand it". alright, i might sound too harsh or mean, but it's good to make things clear between us.

it has been quite some time since i last blogged. i think i'm going to blog less now, since i started my training. so busy and so tired with everything everyday. so from now onwards, i'll either post a message or two or maybe none in a week. but i'll try to blog no matter what.

first day of training was a torture, both physically and mentally. it made me wonder if i've made the right choice to take the offer right at the first place. however there's nothing i can do but to learn to like it now. i've already signed the contract. before i leave my house to class, i actually have the thought to give up (that's before i hand in the agreement forms), but i told myself, since i've been this far, why not give it a try. afterall, i always thought that the job i'm going to take is fun. never knew that the training was that scary and horrible. in the end, i can only choose to learn and like it. somehow i told myself to take this opportunity to challenge myself but i'm not quite sure if i can make it. the reasons they're treating us that strict are because they wanted to train us to be as perfect as we can, to be a good person, to be discipline and to be responsible. i knew that what they're doing are actually for our own good, but it's kinda harsh for me that i just couldn't accept it at the first place. that's life, life is never easy. guess i need some time to get used to all these and hopefully i'll be able to take all the pressures given.